𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 - lexi howard

- 𝐬𝐢𝐱

[no silent readers please]

𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗥𝘂𝗲ʼ𝘀 breakdown in class when she was trying to summon up her summer, Montana Lestari watches Lexi chase after the girl to the bathrooms. She knows why Rue is so closed off about this summer — she took her first overdose, and that shit is scary. You can feel your stomach squirm, you can feel your throat close up, you want to scream but you can't breathe, and all your insides begin clogging your airways until you're shaking on the floor and drowning in poison. That's how it feels, at least — it's definitely not how it actually works. Then, you wake up in a hospital with needles in your arms and have to swallow a cup of charcoal, not to mention that your whole family hates you for it, too.

But when Lexi Howard leaves the bathroom, there's tears in her eyes. Now, in most people's eyes, Montana has two options here: go and comfort Rue, or go and comfort Lexi. However, Tana has never been very good at dealing with her own emotions, nevermind someone elseʼs. Seeing people sad or angry or depressed just makes her incredibly awkward — or it makes her laugh, which is even worse.

So she joins Rue in the bathroom. Not to comfort her, but to get high as fuck. And the girl is glad for this, as she also hates talking about her feelings. That's just how their friendship works. They're both a little messed up but would rather destroy themselves than open up about it.

In conclusion, during Montana Lestariʼs first day of junior year, she bearly woke up from water intoxication, her outfit slayed, she spent all her free time flirting with a girl she's spoken to once, and then got high with her best friend. It's perfect. The best day of her life, even.

Two hours later, and the final bell rings. Rue and Tana have skipped almost every single one of their lessons, and are currently having a flying competition. The problem is that neither of them have wings. So when Rue falls head-first off the floor, Montana bursts into laughter and pulls out her phone.

15:30

"Oh, crap." She jumps down from the sink and looks at Rue, who is smiling through the pain of face-planting a hard floor covered in piss and period. "Hey, dude, I've gotta go pick Monty up from school. You coming?"

Rue stares at her, blinks slowly, and smiles like an airhead before saying, "Nah. I'm good." Then she furrows her brows and holds her arm out to wrap her palm around Montanaʼs ankle before she leaves. "Hey, what do you think happens? You know, like, after death?"

Montana shrugs. "We live, we die, who gives a shit about what happens next?" And she lives by this saying. It keeps her sane — or as sane as she can be, at least.

There used to be a time in her life — when she was around thirteen/fourteen — when the question of what happens after you die kept Montana Lestari up at night. It drove her crazy. She needed the answers. She had a million theories all written across her bedroom wall, and she didn't sleep for two weeks because she was so obsessed. In that time, Montana began hallucinating without any drugs, she hurt herself constantly, she didn't shower once, and her mind was always running on 500mph. Her foster parents at that time soon grew concerned and called up a crisis hotline, where she proceeded to spend seventy two hours in a psych ward under evaluation. One of the therapists told her what she told Rue, and it has stuck with her ever since.

"Oh." Rue then stares up at the bathroom light, body spread out on the floor like a starfish, thinking she's in that scene of the original Spongebob movie.

Drinking a shit ton of water probably isn't the smartest thing for Montana to do after last night, but she needs to be at least a little sober for picking her brother up from school. The taste makes her want to vomit instantly, and she feels her throat try and deny access for it.