The sea breeze is very cold tonight.
Akala ko sa mga movies lang ako makakakita ng mga taong nagluluksa may dalampasigan ng ganitong oras, hindi ko alam na ako pala mismo ang makakaexperience ng ganito. I remembered what Yna texted me earlier, it was very common for people to run to the waves as if they can overpower them.
I wanted to do that but that would be extremely alarming, ayaw ko pa naman mamatay. I still want to experience life to the fullest kahit na nararamdaman ko na it will never be the same as before. But what can I expect, change is the only permanent thing in life.
I hugged myself as the wind continues to blow. I can clearly hear the waves touching the shore. The sound of that feels like music for me, it's somehow calming to listen to.
It has been six months. Six months since the news broke out. Six months since we broke up. And it hasn't been the same as before. My life completely turned upside down. I thought I won't be able to continue as if my life depended on that particular part. I did that because I wanted Elias to be successful in his career even though I hated myself for doing that afterward.
Whenever I think about that night all I wished is for it to be different. Hoping I could change it. Hoping I had the courage to fight for our relationship back then. It affected me every single night as I would cry myself to sleep.
I hated myself so much for hurting Elias.
I went back on track easily. I can hide my pain very well with other people as if nothing happened, I guess isa na 'yun sa mga pros ng pagiging isang non-showbiz girlfriend.
Juniper and Kiera didn't pry that much they acted as if nothing really happened. Yna knew it from the beginning isa rin sa mga cons ng pagiging classmates namin since high school. I told her everything. Not entirely everything kasi side ko lang naman ang sinabi ko and I don't know kung anong side ni Elias.
I started to feel a warm fluid flowing through my cheeks. I know I would cry. That's why I want to keep myself busy because I can't even bear the pain of even reminiscing memories with Elias.
I looked behind me immediately as I am sensing someone had been looking at me. Weirdly enough, wala naman akong nakita. Ganito ba talaga epekto ng break up? I went to focus my thoughts on the waves as it slowly touches the shore.
"Congratulations, Rori."
A voice so familiar that gave shivers to my body. My heart starts to race like crazy. Tears started to form. I don't want to look back. I don't want him to see me like this.
I should be happy right now as I just graduated. But it doesn't feel the same at all. I feel like something is missing. And that missing piece is now here, behind me.
I slowly faced him. A hard thing to do honestly. I saw him smiling at me and I force a smile. I started to feel my tears flowing like crazy through my cheeks as I smile.
Ang pogi pa rin talaga niya.
I rushed towards him. He immediately gave out a hug for me. A hug that I have been craving since having my constant breakdowns. Hindi na ako nakasalita kasi puro hagulgol lang ginawa ko.
"I missed you so much, Rori."
No words came out of my mouth.
I missed you too, Elias.
That's what I wanted to tell him but I hugged him tighter.
