Three Steps Back

13

Riley

It's so surreal being back here knowing what happened exactly a year ago. It's weird to think about everything mum had missed. Honestly when it happened, I couldn't imagine living with out her but I know now. She knew we would be able to 
"I have a confession" Dad said as we all sat around the living room
"What did you do" Emily teased making him roll his eyes
"I was cleaning out your mums vanity and I found letters for all three of you about a week ago" He said making me look around at everyone

"I don't know when she wrote them but I figured you should all have them" He said walking over to the coffee table before handing us all a letter
Now this was the last thing I was expecting but I guess what better time to have one you know?

'Dear My RileyRoo,

If you reading this then bless your dad he's actually took it upon himself to tidy up. I don't know when you are reading this but I know that when you are reading this I'm not longer with you
And that's okay
You're okay baby.

You're such a kind girl Riley, I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished in your life and I know you're going to do nothing less then continue to accomplish all your wildest dreams 

Watching you grow up was one of the most beautiful things I've ever had the chance to watch, your so different to Liam and Emily but in a good way, they are both very headstrong just like your father but you Riley, you're my delicate little flower
You would rather hurt yourself to make sure everyone else around you is okay
One day it'll be your biggest quality but the next it'll be your biggest heartbreak

You have a great guy standing by your side.. 
I know you were very set in your ways that you didn't want anything shy of perfect, you wanted the first guy to be your last and I really think that James is that 
You both compliment each other so well and I can't wait to see you both tackle all of your hurdles because trust me baby. There will be a few

I hope you never lose your passion for dancing Riley, from seeing your perform at your first showcase. I fell in love with it all over again just watching you
Please when you dance, dance for the both of us 
We'll forever be unbeatable 

I love you Riley Roo

Love 
Mum xx'

I wiped a few tears as they fell before turning around to look at everyone. They had all finished reading long before I had and had glanced over at me
"did anyone else get the comment about Dad cleaning?" Liam asked breaking the silence making us all burst out laughing
"I did" Emily answered
"me too" I said in between laughs
"I love the faith she has in me" Dad said rolling his eyes making everyone laugh 

--

It's been a whole year, a year without her
"Hey" A voice said behind me, I stood in the garden looking out at the garden as James came out to join me
"Are you okay?" He asked placing his arms around my waist allowing my to cuddle up to him slightly while he kissed the top of my head
"Yeah, I am" I smiled looking up at the sky

The sun was setting and the sky was full of pinks and oranges while the clouds were are puffy and full creating a merge of colours
She was here right now

"I love you" I said turning in James' arms to look at him
"I love you more" He whispered leaning down to kiss me, I smiled wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him closer
"I'm sorry for not being around as much as usual Ri, I didn't mean to" He said pressing his forehead against mine
"It's okay James" I replied stroking his cheek

"No no it isn't, I should have been around more" He whispered and I smiled 
"you're here now. That's all that matters" I said
"School is hectic, we've known that for the past 2 years but we'll be okay" I said making him smile
"We'll always be okay" He said and I nodded pressing my lips against his again