Journey of Flame

Chapter forty-three

I fell asleep pretty easily that night after practicing with Zai, who had gotten much better at holding onto her magic. Especially with whatever she did to help Faxon.

I wasn't sure, exactly, how that worked. I'd never heard of water magic having that ability, but then again, I hadn't exactly studied water magic.

But I awoke sometime in the night and found myself unable to go back to bed. So I quietly got up, careful not to wake either Zai or Snowfall as I slipped out of bed, then began the climb up to the deck. But I paused about halfway up the ladder, hearing... crying.

Odd. I'd never heard anyone crying up here before.

I continued climbing, though a little more cautiously now, and when I silently pushed open the trapdoor and looked around for the source, I found Voss near the front of the ship. His hands were braced on the railing, and he was looking down at the calm waters below. His shoulders shook with the sobs that racked his body.

I climbed up the rest of the way, quietly shutting the trapdoor. And then I stepped forward a few feet and cleared my throat.

Voss whirled, and there were indeed tears trailing down his tanned cheeks. He had a hand on the hilt of his sword, but he dropped it once he took me in, relaxing slightly.

"I, uh, I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked, sniffling and wiping at his eyes.

"No, you didn't. I just couldn't sleep."

"Okay, good," he said, then turned back to the water.

I stepped up beside him. "My parents died when I was eight," I murmured. "So I understand. It's not an easy thing to go through."

He shook his head. "No, it's not. I..." His throat bobbed. "I didn't realize how much I'd been holding on to hope that maybe we'd find a healer until today. And when it all came crashing down, I-" He let out a sob, shaking his head. "I didn't want Faxon to hear me, so I came out here."

I touched a gentle hand to his arm.

"I tried asking them myself," he murmured. "I thought maybe if they saw me, they'd take pity on me and help. But they didn't care, they..." His throat bobbed. "They were very cruel."

I didn't want to imagine the things they must have said to him. How deep those words likely cut.

"You know, I... I don't want to do it, but if we have no other option, we could kidnap one. Force them to heal him."

"Yeah, I threatened as much, but they said that, for one, if I did, they could just refuse to heal him, and two, if we laid a hand on them, Meara would ensure that no healer would ever help us if we were to ever need healing," he said. "So it wouldn't work, as much as I wish it would."

"Oh," was all I could think to say to that.

"I just... I hate watching him waste away," Voss breathed. "He can't even talk to me. He just lays there. Sometimes I can't even tell if he's breathing. It's the most terrifying thing I've ever been through."

I said nothing, unsure of what I could say to reassure him. But I did tighten my hold on his arm, hoping to offer some comfort.

"I don't know if he can hear me," he continued, "but I still talk to him. I don't know, I just... I hope that somehow, it helps."

"I bet he can hear you," I murmured. "And I'm sure it does help. Makes him not feel so alone."

He let out another quiet sob at this and wiped at his eyes. "You really think so?" he asked, looking sidelong at me.

I nodded. "I do."

For a long while, we said nothing, but then I broke the silence. "I'll stay out here with you if you want. For as long as you need. And we don't have to talk or anything if you don't want to."