Whisper ][ HYUNLIX

Felix ][ We shouldn't see each other anymore

Buzzing and conversation grew louder as I neared my 'house'. The lights made a humming noise syncing well with the loud voices coming from inside. I sigh, taking a step up onto the door front. It's been a while since I've really talked to them, nor been nice. But I have a change in heart.

As soon as I open the door, heads turn and faces turn relieved yet disappointed. I scratch the back of my neck, knowing that my presence isn't appreciated. But should I really expect anything else?

"Hey guys." I let out a peep, hoping some might say hey back. I know I shouldn't expect one though, I've been an asshole to all of them. I can tell they're sick of it.

"Mm." Minho hums in an annoyed tone. He turns back to face the others, Jisung, Changbin and Seungmin. I nod.

"Where is Jeongin?" I ask in a calm and collected way. They all state at me, then each other. Seungmin rolls his eyes, finally stepping in.

"In his room, why?" Seungmin's tone is monotone paired with a bored expression. I nod while humming.

"It's just, I haven't seen him in a while."

"Probably because he's avoiding you."

"But why..?"

"Ever since you hit him those weeks ago he hasn't dared to venture out of his room. Because of you. You animal." Seungmin's expression looks mean and angry. I get it. I deserve it. But I know Jeongin doesn't deserve to sit in his room, in pain. I have to fix this, somehow...

"Okay." I quickly slip in as I walk away and up the stairs. I make my way to Jeongin's room, hoping he might consider a conversation or even a look at me.

My hand trails along his door, pushing it open. The creak signals my entrance.

"Hey Minho, is my pasta re-." Jeongin's words stop dead in its tracks as he makes eye contact with me. He quickly snaps his head to the side. I can tell he's angry, really upset. I sigh, taking a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" Jeongin asks before I can even gather what I was going to say. I stutter, slightly helpless in what to say.

"I just wanted to apologise for all the shit I've put you through." I duck my head low, hoping he might consider listening. He doesn't.

"No." He throws an empty, squashed can at my head. I nod, laughing a little.

"I deserve that." I say to him, a laugh in each word.

"Much worse. You're an idiot to think you deserve so little." He growls.

"Yeah, heh. I really do deserve a lot worse. That's why I don't expect you to forgive me.. I just want you to listen to me." I plead to him, my eyes boring into his head. Hoping they'd penetrate and see what he's thinking.

Jeongin nods. I gulp. Is that a yes to him listening?

"I give you a few minutes." He says with a slight smile. That makes me all the more happy, making my smile beam.

"You know we've both been through shit, especially the past few weeks. I can't imagine how you feel, I've just been really worked up and agitated that I take it out on all of you." I take a deep breath. Watching Jeongin as he slowly starts to listen.

"It's just being raped.. and recorded, effected everything about me. It made me a worse person and I regret ever showing that worse side to everyone, especially you." Jeongin nods as I explain and run into further detail.

"I know I can never compare your situation and mine and say that mine is worse, I could never. I just wanted to tell you how I feel and hopefully clear some things up. Because we've both had a shit childhood. That leaked into the start of our adulthood too, and I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I hope to at least being able to look at each other without disgust now. I want it to be better." I smile as I let out the final length of my few paragraphs. I choke back the verge of tears. Hoping they'd stay inside me.