The Shrew's Groom

4. Rebranding

 ~ |Gaurav| ~ 

Being among India's top ten influencers had its cons. The biggest of them was these newer pests. Younger kids. More tech savvy. Growing at a pace faster than their brains could keep up with despite being embarrassingly unafraid to share their opinions. Or perhaps because they were unabashedly candid, the internet loved them. They had tapped into the algorithm of increasing reach by oversharing.

That was certainly true for this kid. "Omg I grew up watching you, such an honour!" was his way of initiating conversation, making me turn from dumping a generous helping of egg and tomato salad—God bless whoever decided this buffet, I really needed some protein—and look down at his half a foot long spiked hair, its bleached blond tips at level with my chin.

"Grew up? How old are you?"

"Seventeen, I'm actually among your first 10k subscribers, you composed a song and sang it when you reached that milestone. You also hearted my comment! Aap inspiration ho bhaiya, sahi mai."

The guitar thing was true. I really was into music in college. Dropped it as soon as it stopped being the primary attraction for women. The kid wasn't lying. He really had grown up watching my videos. Must've been eight when he subscribed. No wonder his bleached hair rivalled the surface of an overused Scotch-Brite, his parents clearly didn't pay attention.

God I'm getting old.

"Sahi hai bhai." Saying bhai was calculative. No way was I calling him beta. He had been gracious enough to not call me uncle. "Toh phir, kya padhai kar rahe ho? Boards hogaye?"

"Haan pichle mahine hi. Hiatus liya tha YouTube se, kal comeback video jayega. @DankDaksh hai channel." He ran his fingers through his stiff mane, straightening it further before grabbing a plate and reaching for the tofu salad. "Padhai ka utna socha nahi hai, agar DU mai nahi hua toh drop leke content pe focus karunga. Aapko peeche chodhna hai ek din." Tongue in cheek, the bastard grinned at his own jest.

I shouldn't have taken it too personally. Spotting Samar, I nodded at @DankDaksh and made a beeline towards the main course line behind the nearly empty paneer lababdar container, where my manager was standing with his plate half-full. He wasn't thrilled to see me.

"Was that Daksh?"

"Kya pata, naam nahi poocha maine."

Lying never worked with Samar. He clicked his tongue as he scraped the last two paneer pieces from the bottom and dumped it on his plate, its peach, cashew gravy touching his naan and turning it soggy. I looked away before I ruined my diet. It wasn't until we had taken our seats that Samar began to chastise me.

"You were rude to @DankDaksh? Kyu meri problems badhata hai yaar tu?"

"I wasn't rude, I made small talk."

"You walked away without taking a selfie. That's rude."

"Chutiya bolta hai mujhse aage jayega tu keh raha hai selfie loon uske saath."

"He's right." Samar chomped down on two paneer tikkas from his overloaded plate, before moving on to stab three mushrooms. Fucking vegetarians. "Pichle mahine he went from 30k subscribers to a 100k. Kid's numbers are going to rival my JEE rank soon. Did you even congratulate him?"

"No, I didn't know that." I leaned back, taking my time to swallow my tomatoes instead of longingly staring at Samar tearing his buttered naan. "Kis type ki videos banata hai woh yeh bhi nahi pata mujhe."

"Video game streaming. Fortnight mostly. And live commentary about other people. Other YouTubers," he added pointedly.

"And a 100k watch it?"