In my arms | J.Jk FF |✔

chapter 9

After a long frustrating day all u needed was to be at home it was already 8:30 p.m. So u made your own wishes come true. You quickly closed your work day and went home going straight home and getting changed into comfy clothes.

Sighing in content of finally being comfortable you pulled a little box out of your bedside table. A bit of cigarettes . "I promised eomma I'd stop, I'm sorry eomma. I tried". U thought to yourself as u looked at the box, you were disappointed in yourself that u couldn't keep your promise but you just continued on.

You walked to the balcony of your room and sat on the couch, crossing your legs you pulled out a cigarette and your lighter. Lighting it up u took a pull of the toxic substance and smiled in relief afterwards.

You honestly didn't smoke for no reason. It helped with your stress and emotions, it may not seem like it but u have alot held within yourself that u refuse to let out. Purely because you don't want to bother anyone with your own life problems. Tho you were quite the humble person and is always willing to help others where needed u couldn't help yourself to save the world.

You couldn't express yourself properly when it comes to what topics are on your mind or certain opinions you have. So, what other options does that leave u with other than to keep it all to yourself. Your mother is old and u don't want to let her get to know about what's on your mind and then u don't trust anyone else like that.

And here when the smoking cane in. You started off vaping but not regularly. Then you converted to cigarettes and that's when the frequency picked up. Now u smoke regularly when you're by yourself. It's one of the flaws you have that you were especially disappointed in especially since in the past your mother found out and warned u to stop.

You did try but was quick to give up. You honestly can't care for yourself and your wellbeing and u know it very well. That's why now you're looking for someone that's willing and trustworthy to spend your life with. You'll take care of them and love them endlessly and they do the same. That's all u want. Sadly getting these things aren't as easy as it may seem.

Especially for an introvert such as yourself. But then u have the thought of jungkook in your mind. You don't know if it's obvious or not but you love him alot. He's so innocent and pure, beautiful and just overaly perfect. But then he's been through so much, you'd never open upto him like that, you would just wanna take care of him and shelter him from the harsh world.

But u do truly love him. Not only cause u think he'd be someone good for u to open upto. Ofcourse he is  UT that wouldn't be your main motive, having him you coukd easily forget everything that bothers u and just let loose in his presence.

While in your deep thoughts u heard a knock on your door and your mother's voice  calling your name. "Y/N-ah". You quickly got rid of the cigarette and being as prepared as u are you took the perfume bottle u had behind the cushion and sprayed it all over to cover the smell of the tobacco in thr air and on yourself then answered her.

"Come in". She opened the door snd asked to the balcony meeting u who was now sitting cool calm and collected in your spot. "I didn't know when u got home. Why didn't u come tell me you were home I could've cooked for u". "I ate outside eomma don't stress yourself, I can take care of myself". Both of those where lies. You didn't eat u didn't feel like it , you knew she wouldn't take that excuse so u made something up and well u knew very well u can't take care of yourself.

"Sit eomma, do u need something and where is jungkook". She sat beside u. "Do I need to need something to come meet my daughter? And he's asleep already". "Oh okay and no eomma that's not ehat I meant". "Hm, well I just decoded to come have a little mother daughter time with u. It's been a while since we've done that, huh".

U smile. "Yeah it has been a while". She patted her lap. You didn't hesitate, you turned your body laying down putting your head on her lap and letting the rest of your body lay on the couch. She started playing with your hair giving your head a massage. "You're stressed about something aren't u. What is it, come on tell me".

You opened your eyes and looked at her. "What makes u say that. I'm fine". "You sure, your body seems tense". "Nah, I'm getting old that's probably why". You covered it up with a joke. She chuckled and continued massaging your head as u looked at the stars. This is what u needed tho u wouldn't admit it. A little extra care went a long way.

"You love him don't u". Her statement caught u majorly off guard. "Huh-". "Don't try to deny it y/n, I can see it in your eyes u like jungkook don't u". What was the point, she clearly already knew. "Yeah, u got me". "He loves u too". Your eyes widened. "HUH-".