Eh in between

Day one

Cailyn P.O.V.

FROM DAY ONE I was bopping. I came out screaming, cold and wet. The minute I came out I was cryin peaches. I felt the wind blow through my lox. Stef was crying. Steve was fainted from my booty and beauty. The nurses were bowing. The doc was masturbating. My first words were "Vas happenin?"

1 year later

By now I was walking, talking and rulin this bitch! I had stef wrapped around my fat fingers. Then this bitch decided that she wanted another kid so she got pregnant and this bitch Caleigh was coming and I about to cry!!!! She said that I'm gonna be a big sister. I will kill her in her sleep if she comes here. Jkkjhhk I got you so good. But a little while later Caleigh came home and I was a sister 😤. Life was pretty rough from there on out because I didn't get a lot of sleep bc the baby woke up ALL the time so I would wake up and cry too. I hated it. I was just a baby that needed a lot of sleep. But none the less she was here for ever.

Christmas Day when I'm almost two I was like amaze because I was pro at everything I do because I'm better than every one. Caleigh still existed but I made it better because I was there. But anyways I got a lot of random shit like bath toys and blankies. So basically I was full time food. Ya know pasta because I'm Italian. I was conceived in Italy actually so. Well I think. Idk. But it was super basic drinkin boobs so I was like "Fuck this Stef. I'm ready. Trust me." And then Stef was like

"Are you sure" and I was like

"Bitch give me my fucking food now asshole!!" And then she did so I'm a pro.

January 6th 2003

I was finally two. So I was like packing my bags and then my evil mother was like " Hunty! No you have to stay for at least 16 more years!" And then I cried because I was like super depressed because my mom never gave the right cheese on my pasta and KMS!! But I was at the time so popular at the park and stuff. When I came everyone was like "omg it's Cailyn!" But those jealous bitches were like "I hate her so much!! Smh"

All the boys would say "what a babe" and then they'd try to hit me up but I'm like fuck that shit y'all Fuckboys.

I tried to run away like seven times but every time Stef was like bitch get back here!! And sometimes Caleigh would convince me to not so she helped. She was okay but I'm still better than her.

~When I was 4~

At the age of 4 I was a boss ass bitch. I ruled every one and if what I want. Jafar was my only problem even though I don't like Aladdin. Life got better, my mom finally gave me good cheese on my pasta. But now that was settled I had to worry about school. I would be starting it soon. I was scared I would hurt everyone with my miraculous looks and rockin bod. But that's their problems so I wasn't that worried.

Preschool

Ewwww. Preschool is ew. [okay while writing that I was thinking of jimmy kimmel bc he has a bit where he plays a girl named Sara without the 'h' cause 'h's are eww. carry on. (That was for you Cailyn if you feel me).] the children there are boogery and I hid under my desk all day because people are ew. We colored though and I had the best one because I'm the best at everything. But I saw the cutest kid and his name was Idk. He had blonde hair and he had dirt under his nails. My voice was deeper than his and it was a match made in heaven. I had the biggest crush on him.

Kindergarten

So basically, Stef signed me up for the most basic thing ever. It was called kindergarten. I hated it. My teacher was stupid. Though I was the most popular and hottest of all. Everyone worshiped me. But, my teacher gave us spelling words and work to do during class. I thought you just played and napped. That's what preschool taught me. I was ready to fight. But I was the best, obviously. I colored the colors the right way and in the lines. My teacher was like "wtf. How is she so good" and then I was like

"It's science, bitch!" Jk I was only like its science. Stef said I can't swear in school because it'll hurt the others brains bc they can't comprehend complicated language like that.

So by graduation of Kindergarten, I was the best dressed, nicest smile, most likely to succeed. Just everything. So when they were announcing diplomas I was the first one called up because I'm the best. The teachers told me it was supposed to be in alphabetical order but they were like we'll put her first because she's better. So when I got home that day the Fam threw a party for me. There was cake and music and people I didn't even no existed. I got presents because I'm awesome. At the end of the day after everyone left and Stef had tucked me into bed, I thought about all the hard ships I'd been through. I realized was no longer a kindergartener. I was pro league. Elementary school. I would be in first grade. I think that's like the highest one because you know #1. Amirite ladies. I would probably be the best at everything. But I think the most important thing was getting real friends who didn't want me for my popularity and a man with a real d. No idk. A man that could handle all this. But to do that they needed to be out through the ultimate test. But I was to lazy to do that so I just stayed amazing and Stef was my bff.

A/n

Okay so I'm writing this not Cailyn its a biography. Ya feel. But the actually story part has over 1000 words. And I just came up with this randomly during library today. And most of this stuff I can guarantee didn't happen because I just made it up. This is more of a story for me and my friends and I decided to share with other weird people. But you saw a buttcrack at the beginning and its a long story that I'll explain when you're older. But this was so much fun to write. But while I was writing this Cailyn texted me and she got her cartilage and her tragus done and she sent me a video that Caleigh took. And yes Caleigh is actually her sister but she loves her I think. There were so many things I had to say. Oh yea but a lot of inside jokes will be in this book so you won't get it but we will. Oh and in science we were talking about native Americans selling jewelry they make at a stand and if the police catch them they can get arrested so our teachers was like in some states they don't allow lemonade stands so we were all like what and then she was like if little Sally wants to sell lemonade and the police catch they aren't gonna take her off to jail. And me meaghan and Cailyn started dying bc Meaghans mom is named Sally and it was funny. You had to be there. Okay this is almost 1300 words so I'm just gonna go okay. Vote and stuff for more updates. Oh and yea the elementary and middle school years are gonna go slower this is really fast because I just needed to get a start on this fast. But it'll be slower. Probably a year a chapter or two chapters or something like that. But I don't remember if I had anything else to say but for now I don't but this is so long. This is the longest thing I've ever written on wattpad #goals any ways... I was just thinking about maybe doing those character q and a's people do in their fanfics later on so let me know okay. This is over 1400 words and I gotta go because food smells so good. Okay bye... Bye

SHUT UP KAREN!!!