Lost

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A New Friend
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You're all alone.

No she's not.

Don't bother going to school your friends don't like you.

Yes they do, if they didn't would they invite you to the sleepover next week.

They just invite you because you are good at braiding hair and doing nails. Thats all they want you for!

They want you there because they like you.

Your just alone, don't bother going to school or stepping foot out the house.

Your not alone.

You are alone because if you weren't, your dad wouldn't be in jail! Your mom wouldn't be a drunk! They would've loved you! You live alone illegally because they don't love you!

I lie in bed, waiting for my alarm clock to go off, since I woke up before it. My mind is having it's natural war with it's self. My mind isn't my mind anymore, I don't have control of it anymore. I can't stand it! My mind has been telling me that I am alone and it's right, I am, my parents don't love me. My dad went to jail for child abuse and drugs. My mom used to be the only one I had left, but when my dad went to jail, all she could do was drink and blame me. The money she could be using to buy food and clothes, was used for alcohol. She got fired from her job and decide to become a stripper, to get her alcohol money.
I remember one night she came home drunk and threw the bottle at the wall behind me, the glass cut my skin like knives and stayed there for hours upon hours. I had to wait until she was asleep to leave the house to walk to the hospital. 78 stitches total on my right shoulder. My excuse was that I am clumsy and tripped. The nurse did look like she didn't believe me but didn't say anything. A few weeks later, she got mad at me and told me to leave the house, the woman had my bags packed for me, waiting at the door. I had a fake ID already, and a lot of money saved up, exactly 20, 000. When my dad left for jail, he left a stash of money just incase he was going to leave, on his own though. My mom never knew about. I only know because I found it when I was 7 and got beat when I asked. But I figured that I could use that money to rent the apartment I live in now. My Aunt who lives in New York sends me money each month since I told her about my situation. She did offer for me to stay with her but I declined because I didn't want to make new friends and new enemies. Plus, I have been living pretty good on my own, I've been living here since I was 15 and I'm 17 now so....

I'm a puppet on a string
Tracy Island, time-traveling diamond cutter-shaped heartaches
Come to find you 4 in some velvet morning
Years too late
She's a silver lining lone ranger riding
Through an open space
In my mind when she's not right there

My alarm goes off, indicating its time to go to hell, or school, which ever one you call it. The only good part is that I get to see my friends. Rose, Cara, Eve, Lana, Jacob, and Andrew, my only friends actually. I used to have more, some of them knew more than the ones I have now. But those friends left me, everyone leaves me....

I decided to wear all black, because why not. I get my black v-neck t-shirt, high waisted black shorts, my combat boots, and then a grey beanie. I play the 1975 as I get ready for the torture of the day.

~

I walk to my locker with my head down, hoping not to hear the whispers of the students reminding me that my father is in jail and my mother hates me. As I reach my locker, I look up for the first time since I walked into the building. I see everyone parting the hallway to make room for the 'popular' girls. I rolled my eyes and returned to getting my books out my locker.
"I swear to God, one of these days she is going to break her ankle in those heels, they are like what... 10 inches!" Rose whispers to me. I giggle because she was right. Sidney always wore hooker heels to school, reminded my mom, also a really short dress that she had to pull down. But the principle didn't care because, she is her aunt, her parents are filthy rich and ugh! It aggravates me.
"I wonder if Mr. Brunt will be in today." she says.
"Oh yeah, I hope he is." I smile, Mr. Brunt is the English teacher, we're writing poetry this year and he is nice to me, he always tells me that my poetry could go into a book if I wanted.