Random Stories by Mercyy

BSD Skk - A Little Angst

The grip on the boy's beige coat was so hard it hurt Chuuya's hand, but he didn't want to let go. Not again, he thought.

"Chuuya, release-"

"NO!" he heard himself scream, and he felt Dazai shrink at his tone. His breathing was heavy and shaky, his face was wet and hot, and his blood was boiling with rage and confusion. "Did it even mean anything to you?! All that we went through together, all that I did for you?! I was there for you, Osamu, when nobody else was! Not because I wanted something from you but because I actually fucking cared for you!! For such a cruel and selfish bastard like you...!"

Chuuya's voice broke and faded, mixed with his own sobbing and tears. He tried hard to hold them back, but at this point, it was impossible. Dazai didn't seem to care.

"Please let go, Chuuya" he ordered. The redhead glared up at him, ocean eyes burning like fire.

"No" he got closer, staring at his cold, soulless glance, looking for some sort of emotion, but found none. They were inches away; if they were the same size, the tips of their noses would probably be rushing each other. "Look at me in the eyes, Osamu, and tell me all of that meant nothing to you."

Dazai flinched, but that was all. His bronze eyes didn't show anything in them. It was as if he were d... No. Chuuya stopped the thought before he could finish it. The brunette was alive, and he more than anyone else knew that. More tears fell from his face as he cupped Dazai's cheek tenderly, lip twitching.

"Answer me" he whispered.

Silence.

The wind blew past them, brushing their hairs against their faces and making their clothes dance to its rhythm. It carried the scent of the ocean and felt cold even with their coats on.

Dazai's expressionless face didn't change when he turned to continue his way, not saying a single word more.

The redhead felt his heart sink on his chest. His knees shook and almost let him fall, but he used his last energies and hopes in trying to grab him again.

He reached for his hand again, "OSAMU-" he yelled, but when he reached him—

"CHUUYA" he called out his name, leaving him frozen in place. His voice echoed, resonated in the place, giving the named boy goosebumps. Alarms in his head were going off; he felt threatened, his body adapted a defensive position on itself.

All he could see was that tense back of his. Just like that day.

• • •

A black figure stood quietly in front of the pale tombstone, coat waving in the air making him look free like a bird —when he was nothing but chained. Chained to his responsibilities to the mafia, to the promise he had made to his dead friend, to his own troubled emotions.

Chuuya knew all this not because he was his partner, but because he had heard it from the same man whom the brunette was mourning.

He remembered it clearly as water, the day when he had coincidentally met him in a rather peculiar place and held a conversation with him. Oda talked to him about Dazai with such feeling, such respect, it made Chuuya jealous of the relationship those two had. He never knew the guy well, but he was aware of the love they had for each other. He could only imagine the pain Dazai was going through.

"Are you just going to stand there, stalking me?" Chuuya heard Dazai say, so he walked towards him. He intentionally ignored Dazai's sore, broken voice.

"I'm not stalking you."

"You literally are" he immediately answered, eyes fixed on the abundant white flowers he had just put in front of the deceased's name. Chuuya sighed.