Aphrodite (Naruto Various x Reader)

〄Welcome to California〄

Waking up to the feeling of a slimey substance surrounding my body, I sit up with a start.

Looking around, it was easy to notice the strange looking man who looked like a gay peacock rising from the pool of slime.

"Welcome to the before Demon Slayer."
He starts off.
"You are the most annoying bitch and just looking at you makes me wish I was a bowling pin so I can get hit by a nice pair of balls so that I don't have to look at you."

"...What? You cock sucking son of a bi-"

"Go do my bidding in the Ninja world thing where the literal tangerine cheetos sponsored lookin ass lives-"

Once that sentence left his lips, the ground opened up beneath me.
Screaming as I fell through the seemingly never ending disgusting pit, my screams soon come to a stop.

❖

The birds chirp, the soft tickling of the grass stirs me to consciousness. Groaning, I sit up, the fuzzy blackness dispersing from my vision.
Taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I gasp.
'I'm in Naruto!? Well, at least I think so.'

Grunting, I push myself up. Observing the area surrounding me, I take notice of the fact I was placed nearby a path.
Like any normal person who doesn't want to get lost in the woods, I increase my speed to get to the path quicker.
Stepping onto the path, I feel a quick sharp pain hit my foot, immediately bending down to lift my... wait, 'Foot? Did that ugly ass bowling pin steal my shoes?'

Anyways, looking both ways of the path, I concluded that one way looks like it leads to more forest while the other has some type of opening. Walking in the direction of the opening clearing, I easily spot the huge gate, a few people wandering around it.
'Okay yeah, it's Naruto. FUCK.'

The overcoming feeling of anxiousness floods my senses, my vision begins to blur as my throat tightens up.
Moments pass as I stay in a frozen like state, the sudden rustling of a nearby tree snaps me back into reality.
'I'm stuck in a really good anime that has a lot of people who can break me in half or completely erase my existence in the blink of an eye as well as the fact that a lot of my favorite characters die and instead of them dying on screen they'll be dying in real time so I can never see them again.. I'm not okay.'

Tearing up slightly, I take a deep breath and walk towards the open gates of Konohagakure.
'Oh, wait shit- Do I lie or give the truth? Well not FULL truth but like-'

"Hey! Who are you?"

'Never mind, I don't understand shit they're saying. WAIT! DOES THAT MAKE ME EVEN MORE FUCKED?'

The two guards that were surprisingly awake compared to majority of other fanfics, approach me, Izumo being the one who shouted.
"Are you gonna answer? Hellooo??"
Kotetsu asks, raising an eyebrow at my seemingly petrified state.

"I don't understand what you're saying." I answer after a moment of silence, my voice barely just above a whisper.
'They better be asking if I need shoes.'

The two look at each other,
"Do they not speak Japanese?"
"I don't think they speak Japanese-"
Looking back down at me, Kotetsu opens his mouth,
"Hey, do you know what we're sayin'?"

"What."

"I don't think they do."
Kotetsu informs, looking back at Izumo.

"Obviously, unless they're lying. I should probably take them to the Hokage."

"Yeah, we probably should- WAIT, YOU? I WANNA GO!" Kotetsu yells, my eyes go wide from the sudden change of volume.

"Well someone has to stay guard at the gate."

"It'll only be a few minutes, it'll be fine. And plus, the actual threats wouldn't be dumb enough to walk through the main gate like that."

With a hum, Izumo turns back to me, pointing at his chest, "Kamizuki Izumo."
Kotetsu doing the same, "Hagane Kotetsu."

Taking a moment to process, I'm quick to point my own finger to my chest, "(Name) (Last Name)"

"It's nice to meet you, (Name)," Izumo points to the hokage tower, "We're going to take you up there to meet the Hokage, okay?"

"They don't understand you."

"I know that!"

Izumo places his hand on my arm, lightly tugging me forward, Kotetsu quick to my other side, wrapping his around around mine.
Walking through the streets of Konoha, it gets more crowded and busy the further we go in.
Along the way, both Izumo and Kotetsu try to teach me words, only to fail miserably.

"Hey (Name), can you say 'rock'?" Kotetsu asks, holding a small rock up to my face.

"Ro-"

The rock gets smacked out of Kotetsus hand,
"They don't need to learn 'rock', also- we're here."

Looking forward, the ugly red color thing of the Hokage tower stood tall before us, Izumo walks up to the door, opening it, as Kotetsu grabs the rock again and tries to get me to say rock, again.

"C'mon, say 'rock', 'rock!'"

"R-rock?"

"Good job!" Kotetsu pats my head before turning to Izumo.
"Their accent is terrible!"

Snickering softly, "I can tell." Izumo replies.

Walking into the building, Kotetsu and Izumo easily lead me through the halls, a lot of bickering along the way.

❖

Knocking on the door, an obviously old man who is near the deceased status tells us to come in.

"What brings you three here?"
An old man sits behind a desk, smoking on his pipe.

"We found this person wandering through the main gates, it seems like they don't speak the same language as us."

Humming, The Third examines me.
"You may call me,"
He points to himself because he's not a fucking idiot and this is the most common way to get someone to know you're name or if you're talking about yourself-
"The Third Hokage,"

'I know what he said but that sounds kinda hard to pronounce-'

Kotetsu leans down, whispering in my ear, "Hokage."

"Oh.. Whorekage- I mean, Hoe- Hokage."
'Nailed it.'

Nodding at my attempt, Lord Third continues questioning Izumo and Kotetsu, which in turn meant them asking questions about me, using a very long difficult game of charades.

Eventually, the Third does feel some sort of satisfaction from what information he has got from me, "I'll set them up a living arrangement," He bends down, opening up one of the drawers of his desk. Closing the drawer, he sets down an average bag of money, strange to keep it in a drawer like that but you go, old man.
"Hopefully that can help them for awhile, please escort them to the same apartment complex as Naruto."

"Naruto?"

"Yes, I feel as if this is his chance to finally get a friend, despite the difficulty in communicating vocally."

❖

Waving goodbye to Kotetsu and Izumo, I shut the door once they're out of sight. Sighing, I shuffle over to my bed and immediately flop onto it. Rethinking of all of the recent events, I scream into my pillow only for my face to quickly heat up, realizing that The Third Hokage probably sent someone to watch me- or he is watching me himself.

Despite the painful feeling of hunger, I cannot bring myself to even attempt to get food. The drowsiness and the overwhelming situation I was put into causes me to just temporarily give up, I'll eat in the morning.