I had been looking for a job for a while. After being laid off, I had to live in my grandma's basement. I was on my PC when I saw an advertisement for a new position at HSN as a show host. I had always been an excellent speaker, so I weirded out at this, but I was extremely desperate and accepted it. The next day, I caught a ride on a bus going to the HSN filming place. When I arrived, an old man in a blue suit approached me. He started talking to me.
“Hey, kid! Are you blind?! You’re 30 minutes late. Get the heck out of here and go to the filming location!”
“Uh.. Yes Sir!”
I walked to the recording studio, following the map the man gave me. The studio is like a maze. The halls are empty, other than the janitor. The door was visible when I took a turn. I was getting sweaty from all the walking around the stuffy hallways. The room you see on the channel is the one I saw when I opened the door. It’s an iconic room. I sat down. I was expecting a rehearsal first, so I know what to say. The cameraman walked up to me and.
“Uh hey man, you see this HP Stream Laptop here. Just say amazing things about it and say it’s good or something like that. We don’t do scripts here. Just smile all the time, look happy, and talk out of your ass. We’ll be recording live in a minute.”
I was nervous about this. I mean, I do not know what to say. I looked it up and saw a few blurbs about what it was. I hyped the laptop up while looking like I just won a million dollars.
“Alright, we’re recording, let’s go.”
I started walking around the product with a grin on my face.
“Hello people! Today we are going to be selling this awesome HP Stream Laptop. You can, uh.. Send emails and play graphically intensive games like solitaire, snake, and Mine sweeper!”
I looked at the laptops on the counter and walked to them.
“We have awesome colors like jet blue, blood red, and black! It’s 50 percent of market price! With 5 easy flex pay!”
I then see one of the staff holding a sign that says how it’s a splendid gift for any family member. Well here goes nothing.
“Well, now that you’ve had a look at this powerful computer, let me say how good this is as a gift! A perfect gift for your mother, father, siblings, your spouse, or your disowned child!”
The staff gave me a blank stare but didn’t protest. I spent hours advertising products and hyping them up. It was getting extremely tiring. I was sweaty, tired, and ready to go home. My grandmother then texted me that she needed more of those old candies that they sell at Weis. I was walking out, when my boss stopped me.
“Aye bruv, what the hell are you doing here? Your room isn’t right here. It’s also a bit chilly innit.”
“I live with my grandmother. What are you talking about?”
“Did you not read the bloody contract?! It says that you have to live here and are under our rules.”
“What?”
“Well, too bad for you. It’s your first day in your new house! Aight bruv, let’s go.”
My boss led me down the halls. I was panting. How did I miss something like that in a contract! It must have not actually been in the contract. This must be why HSN employees seem like they’re there all the time. The Boss opened the door, and I felt a chill run down my spine; There were HSN employees sleeping on the cold, hard floor. He pushed me in.
“What… What’s your name!”
“Heanford S Nelson. May you never forget that.”
“Damn you Heanford! I will never forget that name for as long as I live!”
