ﾟ･stars were made for falling ﾟ･ (original)

21- the world caves in...

How is anyone supposed to be able to grasp the weight of the end of the world? How is any one singular creature, be it a human or an ant, supposed to understand the cosmic weight of everything shattering to pieces all around them? It's not something you're expected to be able to understand, because to some degree, it's not something realistic. If the world is to end, it is to do so gradually, rotting away until there is nothing left of what once was. That is how it was always fated to be, that is how the stars above saw it fit to end.

So why now, standing at the gates of the place that murdered his brother, did Casper Vulpes need to understand the end of the world? He was just one singular boy, someone who hadn't been alive very long at all. Sixteen years may seem like a lot to an ant, or even to a human, but to Casper... he knew that he wasn't very old in the scheme of things. The very trees ringing the courtyard of the Citadel were older than him, the building itself practically ancient in his eyes. And even then, it wasn't that old in comparison to the rest of the world.

If the world was that old, who was he or anyone to say it would end today? How could they possibly know, with their limited human knowledge and incomplete studies of the lives they would lead? The world had to know better than them, and it hadn't told them a damn thing about its end. Wouldn't something that old know if it was going to die, if it was able to die? Casper wasn't sure, but he wasn't sure about much. Not now, not when everything he thought he knew had been turned on its head several times over; by now, Casper was smart enough to know that he knew nothing for certain.

The rosebushes outside of the Citadel were long dead, wilted away under the unwavering cold that permeated the place. They weren't the only thing wilting, as Casper watched Ivan break the lock on the front door of the cathedral, forcibly letting them enter. Casper felt himself shivering, knowing he had never been this cold before in his entire life; maybe the world was dying, and maybe this was its only way to let them know. It couldn't speak with words, and why would it? Words were a feeble thing made by even feebler creatures to communicate thoughts and emotions too big for their small, frail bodies. The world was anything but frail and emotional, it didn't need their words to tell them something.

Ivan entered the Citadel first with little reluctance, then Halley, who looked as though she might be sick. Casper followed last, letting his fingers trail over the frigid stone of the building, wondering how Percy must have felt entering such a horrid place all alone. Was he scared? He had to be, there was no way he wasn't. Or was all he could feel a cold determination to proceed, to accomplish the task he'd come there to do, and hurry home to his waiting guardians and brother. Casper wanted to bring him home more than anything, but he wasn't sure how he would. Liz and Miles, so certain that Percy was dead, so convinced they'd only see him after they'd passed on themselves... they had to be feeling so alone now, if there was anything to feel after death. They had to know Casper was right, when their beloved younger brother never showed up to greet them at the pearly gates, if anything like that even existed.

Casper felt right then that any sort of prolonged existence after death would only be a type of hell, to never let their souls rest, to never feel the soft, dark nothingness that he'd been craving for years now. For centuries, it felt. No, to keep living after death would defeat the purpose of dying, it would be like sleeping while awake. There was no sleep when you were awake, and even if being awake was nice, you needed to sleep. Sleep was nothing but comforting and dark, and that was all Casper wanted. It was all he would allow himself to want, knowing anything else would be borderline impossible to have now.

He adjusted the hat he'd put on before he left- one of the ghosts of Percy still in their room, his old aviator hat, too big for him at the time. He'd stumbled into Liz and Miles' room, wearing one of Liz's rings, throwing on a spare jacket Miles was fond of. And of course, around his neck, still lay the necklace Leo had given him, tucked underneath the collar of his favorite sweatshirt. He'd loved the thing so much when he'd first gotten it, sewing a heart into the collar, and it stubbornly remained there to this day; he hadn't worn it since Percy had disappeared, but he assumed now would be as good a time as ever. Casper wore every token of every lost loved one he had, firmly holding the bat he'd given Leo as a gift- it looked like he would have to break it in for him. Cloaked with love and hoping it would protect him, he entered the Citadel.