Only Fools

Chapter 7

"Everything okay?" Liam ask, worry clearly on his face. I nod and let out a sigh of relief to finally be alone with Liam. He cocks his brow, clearly in disbelief but seems to let it go. Maybe he thinks I'm just nervous. I make my way over to the bed, and instead of climbing in, Liam grabs my wrist and guides me to straddle over the top of him. My legs on both sides of his waist, his arms wrap around my torso, and I bring my lips down to meet his. Our tongues move in sync, tiny breathy pants fill the quiet room and my hands thread through Liam's light brown, pen straight hair. His hands travel down my back, gripping my thighs, silently begging me to be closer to him. I pull away from his kiss, only to press my lips to the lobe of his ear, gently sucking. Dillion use to love when I did this... 

The thought of Dillion immediately makes the constant lump in my throat more evident, and I pull away too quickly. Liam cocks his head, confused by my sudden movements. 

"I'm sorry," I say and climb off Liam's lap. The room is spinning. Why did, of all things, Dillion come to mind in a time like this? Will I ever be able to simply kiss Liam without the nagging feeling that I am letting go of my deceased fiancé? Why should I have to let go? Why can't I just simply be happy without the guilt? 

"Don't apologize," Liam's voice is small. "I don't want to rush you." He is too kind. I kissed him. 

"I kissed you, Liam." I respond. He intertwines our fingers, placing our hands on my thigh. 

"It does not matter. I do not want to move any faster than you are willing to move." My heart skips a beat at his words. I know for a fact that Liam means that. For a brief moment, the man across the hall steps in my brain and clouds my thoughts of Liam. How is he so spiteful? What happened to him, and why did he turn out so differently than Liam? 

"I want to move with you." I speak. Immediately, I want to push the words back where they came from. Why did I say that? Why do I keep asking myself these questions? Why is Liam so different? Why do I feel like I could envision a future with Liam? I let my mind wander to a 30-year-old Penelope Grey. She is standing in front of a beautiful white house, belly as round as a watermelon. Liam, with a few gray hairs, is standing next to her, arms wrapped around her shoulder and a little boy stands between them, smiling up at his parents and kissing the round belly. I had big plans for my life, and I included Dillion in every single one of them. 

Will I be able to do that with Liam? 

"Penelope." Liam's voice is a soft whisper. His finger is so gentle on my chin, and he lifts my face to look at him. "I am all in." 

His words are enough for me. They are enough to make me push Dillion completely to the back of my mind, at least for tonight. I practically pounce on him, my tongue meeting him, and my stomach is a pit of fire. Our kiss is ferocious, hands roaming each other's bodies and I lightly rock against him. He flips us over, him not on top and his whole body is pressed against mine. I let my knee bend, his hands making his way in between my legs. I gasp as his fingers reach the sensitive part and let out a breathy moan. The feeling is so good. The lump in my throat threatens its way back in, but I push it down and completely consume myself in Liam. 

He pulls back only slightly, long enough for me to hold the back of his neck, stare into his eyes and tell him exactly what he told me. Meaning every single word of it. 

"Liam, I am all in." He smiles at my words, peppering my jawline with tiny kisses and continues the circular motions between my legs. 

Before I know it, I am lifting my shirt over my head and Liam's lips meet the top of my breast. It has been so long since I have been intimate with someone. If I am being completely honest with myself, I am not sure I am ready. I let her go for right now. I feel so incredibly happy in this moment. Here. Liam's hot breath on my neck, my heart racing, both of us lightly sweating even in this cold room- I feel better than I have in years.