The feeling of loneliness can often be subsequent to the feeling of longingness.
Hallie Jones has always been forced to rely on herself due to past experiences and trust issues. This led to building walls that protected her from
the world in which...
Autumn has always been my favorite season, the cool weather and the beautiful earth tone colors makes me feel some type of way. With that I have always associated the season to staying indoors, reading a good book or going to the bookstore, and enjoying a cup of hot chocolate even though it isn't Christmas yet. Usually during this time of year I would take a week off from writing to enjoy the ambiance and catch up with Sam and my grandmother. I have always looked forward to this season and all its wonders.
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My bookshelf in my apartment has a very special place in my heart. It houses my favorite books of all time. I feel weird about drawing inspiration from it but hey It's better than nothing. If only my bookshelf can conjure a book that I was thinking about. It would save me money and time from going back and forth from the bookstore but I don't really mind at all. Going to the bookstore feels very therapeutic and calming and doing so is my favorite errand to do.
"Sam!" I yelled loudly from my writing room
Sam came in quickly with a look of concern plastered on her face.
"What? did pigs fly already or did area 51 release an image of an alien from one of their labs?" she said hastily without drawing a single breath.
"Are you dead serious right now?" I said while holding back a laugh.
"What is it then bookworm?" she said mockingly with her arms positioned around her waist.
"I think my bookshelf is short staffed and it needs new babies to fend for." I said while standing up from my chair and pointing the books on my shelf.
"Wow, is that a poetic way of saying you don't have anything to read and use it as an excuse to get more books?" she said without moving an inch.
"Um....Well..." I said shyly without looking at her. Well damn she knows me pretty well considering the fact that she is always right.
"Well what?" she said mischievously.
"Well I was thinking of going down to Talking Pages to get some new ones and maybe you want to tag along?" I batted my eyelashes at her to get the full effect of the request I asked her.
She stared at me for what felt like the longest time and she finally gave in.
"Fine but only if you buy me a cup of coffee and a cookie." she said sternly.
"Agreed"
Hero
I woke to the sound of my dreadful alarm clock which has been ringing for god knows how long. My first initiative was to check all my emails and scroll through Instagram and Twitter for any updates but I restrained myself in doing so. I honestly do not remember a time where I had a week off due to busy tour schedules and god-awful meetings I had to attend to along with my management. I am grateful for it all and I do love my fans but sometimes it gets to me and all I want is to lay in bed and sleep for hours on end.
Being on stage makes me feel euphoric, it's like having a high without taking anything. This feeling has been with me for quite sometime that I got quite bored of it. It can't fill my heart with what I was longing for nor has it done me justice at all. I want to fall in love and be with someone who accepts me for who I truly am. Most of my past relationships was either a stunt for publicity or I was used for the money and fame I had. At first it was fun, but then again like all things I experience in this journey of fame, I got bored and lonely. My family is in London and I only get to see them through video calls every now and then. I miss them a lot and I do wish I get to spend time with them. But now, this seven day get away is all I had, a time of which I can use to reflect and finally take time for myself.
"Bloody hell, why can't you stop ringing yourself eh?" I said, annoyed by the fact that my alarm won't shut up and by the fact that I slept in late. As I check the time it was already 10:00 in the morning and I planned on going out and get some stuff I need since this hotel I'm staying in does not provide all of the things I want and need. I also wanted to stop by the bookstore I saw down the street, I drove past it yesterday and thought I would pay a visit. It's a quaint store with two big windows on the front that you can clearly see through and it amazes me how a small shop could house a large sum of hefty books. I've always loved reading but when I started touring the world on a regular basis I didn't have the time to sit and read. Honestly I don't even remember the last time I read. That's why instead of laying down and sulking the day away I got up and got dress and went outside the door ready to seize the day.
