Blind, Deaf and Tetraplegic

I miss you

The longing dominated me in the next few days, and the monstrous anxiety started to turn into the deeper disappointment. My greater fear had happened. Hanna was gone. She abandoned me.

The anxiety had no motive anymore, as it's object had already happened, but the physical symptoms were still there. Although tetraplegic, I used to feel my heart pressed. I used to have heat waves, wake up several times during the night, desperate, and have a hard time trying to sleep.

Erick was very helpful. He noticed what was happening and kept me company in the darkest moments. He also used to give me sugared water, trying to make me relax.

Hanna's image in our wedding now was omnipresent in my head but showed itself in different forms according to the moment. Sometimes she was the same one that I described before. Sometimes she had a divine aura that made her more than perfect. Sometimes she was more realistic. This version had exaggerated lipstick, a pimple on her forehead, and her dress was slightly stained with something. One time I even imagined her as a zombie, for some reason.

I missed the soft touch of her fingers, her kisses, and mostly our conversations, that weren't good since I woke up blind, deaf and tetraplegic, two weeks before. But I didn't admit it to myself and to Erick, because I was angry.

How could she abandon me? I loved her so much. I would do anything... Was the blind-deaf-tetraplegicness that ended her love for me? Or she already didn't love before? I will never know.

I kept thinking ideas to Erik write and accomplished something like that:

"The exact sciences are the best and nobler of the scholar subjects. Following them in the rank, there is math, after it there are the humanities and biology, then philosophy and languages and finally, arts and P.E.

Explanation: imagine that all those subjects are soups. P.E. is the disgusting mix of water, rotten meat and sweat. Arts are, in turn, beautiful soups, prepared to the social medias and to be displayed on menus. But they taste like ink.

Moving to the languages, we have alphabet soups, just like philosophy. These soups are good, but don't satisfy more demanding palates. Then we have the humanities and biology, that use their graphics and statistics as seasoning. These soups are complete dishes, although simple.

Both math and the exact sciences are alphabet & numeric soups. They are more complex and tasteful than the others. The difference is in the distribution of the noodles. In math, the letters are found only in the deeper layers, while the exact sciences are perfectly homogeneous."

Before I thought in this comparison between scholar subjects and soups, I didn't think that one was better than other, but the logic reasoning of my ideas led to this.