✓ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒, park jongseong.

I Can't Win with You

it seemed like this was becoming practice; spending her nights in the hybe building. after all, it's where he was most of the time. but this time something was different, the thoughts wouldn't stop flowing when they seemed damned yesterday. she knew what she felt and she let herself feel it; like a weight had been lifted as the words i like you left her mouth. sure, it all felt a little cliché still, but she couldn't stop herself from smiling when it'd replay in her head.

kat liked it though, and she knew jay did too. normality wasn't something she tried to strive for anymore, conforming to what people want from her is so tiring, so she just stopped all together. but she still cared—something she was working towards not doing. but everyone starts somewhere, and one step forward is better than one back, she thought.

"you're always here—"

she turned around at the familiar voice. she couldn't pinpoint how different this felt, but it was different this time; she was calm. "shut up." it's like her feelings had become level, instead of bumpy and unmanageable. kat knew she didn't have to pretend anymore—or hold back. it was out in the open; their feelings for each other.

"—well, i guess that means i am too."

"yeah, always practicing."

he approached kat, sitting in the chair beside her, like always, "well, i'm here with you now, aren't i?"

she smiled, "when you should be going home—to sleep."

his eyebrows rose slightly, "shouldn't i tell you the same thing?" she rolled her eyes playfully at him in response. "i'll always say what you're doing is arguably harder than what i do."

"and i'll always deny it."

he scoffed at her, falling back, "stubborn."

"ooh!" she sang, "you're one to talk!"

he got defensive, laughing in disbelief at her outburst, "what's that supposed to mean?" he asked as he looked her dead in the eyes.

she deadpanned, "you're the most stubborn person i've ever met, and i live with me." he placed his hand over his heart, and she thought it'd be a perfect time for his mouth to fall open. "jay, don't deny it. it'll just fuel the flame." he laughed, not knowing what to do because she was right; if he denied it, she'd be right, but if he stayed quiet, she'd also be right.

"i can't win, with you."

"oh, that's mean." she clasped her hands together, "you think you lose by dating me? the audacity—"

"shut the hell up." his eyesbrows rose, jay taking kat's hand in his, "we're dating? like you're my girlfriend now?"

she shyed away, and he liked the sight of her blushing, "oh, i don't know, it just slipped out. i mean if you w—"

"of course i want to." jay interrupted quickly.

her head jolted back to his eyes, and butterflies were set loose in her stomach, mind, veins, organs; anything they could fly within. "yeah?" she wanted that to be true.

"yeah, so kat, will you?"

she bit back a smile, "will i...what?"

he squeezed her hand tighter before interlocking their fingers the way couples do; or so he's seen. "be my girlfriend." he didn't ask.

"i guess i could do some charity work." he rolled his eyes, "i mean, maybe we should make a contract like in the k-dramas."

he chuckled lowly, "or maybe i'll just do this," and before kat even had a chance to intervene a question jay was pulling her into him by their hands laced together. his other brought her face to his and then closer, kissing her. for a moment it was just like the movies, her eyes wide but then closing once she realized that it was okay. she'd kissed people before, but never this spontaneously.

she pushed him back lightly, and let out a breath that was obviously caught. his face was a deep shade of pink, but she admired it, scanning his features like they'd go away.

she took her hand back, but it quickly found his cheek before he got the wrong idea, pulling him down to her level once again. she placed a light kiss on his nose, then his forehead and then the long awaited lips, slightly parted still, once again. now he was shying away, and she liked it.she found him admittedly adorable.

"do that again sometime." he said, finally opening his eyes to see hers. "please."

"five dollars. USD."

she went to move, but he caught her wrist, "shut up."

he kissed her again, shutting her up.

but it didn't last long, as they pulled away, kat giggling out, "ten."

so he did it again, "fifteen. don't get too crazy now."

he didn't give in, but he let her go. she pouted a moment as he got up, "you're coming back to the dorm? niki said." she didn't reply, instead pouted some more. jay laughed going to stand behind her and getting down to her level, he quickly kissed her cheek, an instant smile breaking across their faces. "happy now?"

she turned around, a contempt look, as she nodded in response.

"good, now let's go."

she got up, grabbing her things and meeting his side. their hands found each other like fate, locking them together as they walked the building.

was she scared of what people might conclude? yes. but she more scared of losing her now boyfriend over that; outweighing the bad with something arguably worse in kat's mind. so, she just pulled him closer, and tried not to look past the present.