Naive and Damned

Chapter 6: Unwilling Beneficiary

Eren

"It'll be strange tonight," Armin hummed. "I can already feel it."

Leaning on the wall next to him, Eren took a sip of water from his glass before answering. "Of course. You won't have my snoring for company; it'd be a sad day for most.

"You only snore when you drink too much," Armin smiled. "Compared to Connie, you're not so bad."

Across from them, Mikasa leant against the table with a raised eyebrow. "Try sleeping next to Sasha. She sleep-talks, all the time... I'm sure I don't have to say what about."

Eren snorted at the dry humour, Armin gave a light laugh, "you haven't gotten your own place yet, though."

"I haven't," she confirmed, voice softening, "I probably won't for a while. It's not like I sleep perfectly, anyways."

Eren knew what that meant. Nightmares, much like himself and Armin. So vivid they were memories, another world within themselves, playing with their fears until they woke trembling, screaming hoarse.

Indeed, it was a strange time. A year after seeing the ocean, and life on the island continued like normal for the majority of its citizens. However, a new paranoia had spread, infecting even the children and especially the elderly – existence beyond the walls still dividing the people on how much they believed, despite the developments happening around them.

Life trudged on. Kids went to school, the workers went to work, and the soldiers patrolled. Eren bought his own home, finally moving in today. It was a comfortable place in Trost, well kept, and layered with character. The previous owners, young parents with two young children, had profusely apologised for not being able to clear up some stains left, the toddler even drawing all over one of the rooms upstairs.

Eren did not mind such minor inconveniences: rather, he already felt attached to his new home. He would be further from his friends than he had been in six years, and living alone for the first time, the thought eliciting a soft sigh from him.

"I have two spare rooms, I'll probably make those into guest bedrooms." he said. Mikasa made eye contact, her eyes boring into him, leaving no crevice to hide.

Armin spoke first, offering him another smile. "You worked hard for this, Eren. You deserve a nice house, a place of your own."

'Deserve?' Eren pondered the word. With what he'd been given, he doubted he'd made the most of it... so many people could wield his abilities better, make a truly meaningful difference.

"You always work so hard," Mikasa adds.

Of course he did. They deserved nothing less than all he could give them. Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Sasha... Captain Levi, Commander Hange – they worked too hard to protect him to deserve him blundering more than he already had. Why congratulate him for doing what needed to be done?

"Thank you." Eren said.

Mikasa's gave does not relent.

"Really, Eren," she murmurs, "you do."

Eren nods again.

A familiar ache grasps him, one that always springs upon him when Mikasa is so open, gentle with him. She says such kind words, those he could never agree with, and places upon him a false crown.

"You've always been... by my side." He'd never been there for her enough.

"You showed me how to live with purpose." He showed her the cruelty of the world.

"You wrapped this scarf around me." If he hadn't, would she still care for him so?

Why did she protect him so much? Because of that day, when they were children? Because they're family? Above all, why thank him for anything?