Her First Mistake

Chapter Sixty-Two: Believe It

    I felt like I was being choked. The sensation closed over my windpipe. My legs scrabbled against the smooth surface as I choked. Burning cold seared across my left arm. With a ragged gasp, my eyes snapped open. The choking feeling disappeared as I woke up, but the cold of the nightmare lingered. Every time I blinked, I saw the same image: the magic as it rushed through my body, taking streaks of my magic with it.

   The bed near my feet dipped. Tate sat down, holding a bottle of water. "Nightmare?"

   I didn't like admitting it, but Tate could hear my heartbeat. He obviously knew that I'd had a nightmare. I nodded. Tate offered the water bottle. It soothed my dry throat. 

   I wasn't as tired, but I still got the sense that I was far from recovered.

   He took back the water bottle. "How are you feeling?"

   "Better. I still feel like I got hit by a train, but it's not as bad."

   Tate exhaled. His hand rested on my ankle. "Will you tell me?"

   I knew what he was asking. My eyes turned up to the ceiling. For some reason, I didn't want to look at him. Maybe it was because after that conversation we'd had, where I'd said that I was going to stop her. I'd said that I was going to best Dani.

   I was wrong.

   Tate's thumb moved carefully. "You don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell anyone. I just want to know you're okay, Rox."

   "I know," I whispered. I believed it. "I just . . . I feel so stupid, Tate. I thought I could beat her." I shut my eyes tightly. "She made me look like an idiot. I fell right into her trap."

   "It was a trap? That thing with Simone was orchestrated?"

   I nodded. "All of it. Boston was a test." My voice was tight. "They knew that if they went after someone I cared about, I would rather go after the attacker than stay behind to help the wounded. So Dani stabbed Simone and fled. As soon as I materialized, she hit me with some spell. It was the same one she tried to get me with at my party. Where she got Alexie. He took the spell instead. I haven't seen him since."

   Tate looked down at my legs under the sheets. "What did it do?"

   "It . . . It's complicated." I tried to figure out how to say it. "Mages draw on the barrier. But between the Mortal Realm -- reality -- and the barrier, there's a gap. It's literally a void of nothingness. It's where I put my staff when you see it disappear. Alexie and I are the only mages that can access it. At least, until Dani threw me into it."

   His gaze jerked back to my face. "Wait a minute. You weren't in the Mortal Realm?"

   I shook my head. "No. I was trapped. In that gap." I swallowed. "In there, there's no air. I couldn't move. Before Dani took me out, I couldn't even see. I couldn't tell anything besides the fact that I couldn't breathe. Then Dani took me out, showed off that she'd captured me, and threw me back. But her spell had lost integrity. I could see the Mortal Realm. I could hear it."

   He was silent as I continued, my voice raspy. "I ghosted her for a while. She was able to access my magic. She used it to kill six Enforcers near Anchorage." My blackened arm was still in view. I tucked it under the sheets. "Then I heard that she was going to send someone to kill you. So, I used a magic-blocking spell on myself. It broke me out of the gap. I got out of the building and that was when Zain found me."

   Tate seemed to have aged while sitting there. His eyes were sad. "Well, it adds up. I know why you were so weak."

   I looked at him. He grimaced. "You've been missing for four days, Roxie. That means you haven't had any food or water for so long. You shouldn't be alive. Magicks can only survive about four days without water."

   Four days. My jaw tightened. My gaze turned down. I'd been trapped for four days. I allowed myself to remain in Dani's trap for that long. God, what the hell was wrong with me? I was supposed to be the person who killed her. I couldn't even get close.

   "Hey, easy." Tate squeezed my ankle. "There's no reason to be ashamed."

   My cheeks darkened. Of course he could tell. "She made me look like an idiot. I was completely powerless to stop her."

   He leaned forward and fished my left arm out from under the blankets. My back tightened at the sight of the mark. He gripped my hand tightly. "She caught you off guard. Besides, it sounded like she'd been preparing for you. Anyone else would be dead."

   "How the hell am I supposed to beat her, Tate?" I shoved my head back into the pillow, frustrated. "I don't have my magic, I can't even stand, and I'm practically alone. Dani's amped up on power and she's got a hundred people working for her."

   "You're not alone," he said sharply. The ferocity in his voice surprised me. "Wake up, Roxie. You're not this ignorant. Dani caught you by surprise. You're the only person on the planet that can hold a candle to her. You're Alexie's apprentice. You're the confident, reckless mage that has been a thorn in Dani's side since she met you. I get that you feel like you've lost, but it's not over. Don't quit before the fight ends."

   He squeezed my hand. "Now, come on. Get up. I'm not letting you mope anymore. You said you were going to be the one to finish Dani. You made me believe it, so I'm going to make you believe it, too."