Ablaze

02

I had been walking for too long.

My body felt exhausted. The muscles within my body screamed in agony as I walked. The purpose in my steps was no longer evident, with hunched shoulders and an uneven gait negating any ability to appear confident.

My mouth was dry, begging for water. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, grating like sandpaper against my teeth.

The day had long turned to night. The ghastly woods surrounding me began to close in. My heart continuously raced in fear, the thumping uneven from exertion. The sounds of animals could be heard howling in the distance, circling me with malicious intent.

My footsteps were no longer placed with determination but instead stumbling over sharp rocks and uneven terrain. The cool air of the witching hour meant I had to wrap my hands around myself, but the sweat that clung to my skin exacerbated the chill.

The trees were so dense that if I raised my head to the night sky, I would be met with the sharp outline of tree branches as they enclosed around me. My surroundings felt confined but vast simultaneously, the dissonance causing the back of my brain to itch.

I was no longer confident that I was still within the confines of my Father's estate.

At the prospect, a small part of the exhaustion separated, allowing a sliver of exhilaration to make way. It was like the first time in my life I had been out of my Father's confines alone. I don't think I had a singular memory that wasn't tainted by my Father's overbearing, nefarious presence.

With careful diligence, I followed along the path at a safe distance. Even after all this time, I still saw no sign of my Brother or any indication that they had traveled this way.

Up ahead, I could faintly see the clearing split into two directions, but I wasn't certain which path my Brother would have taken. I moved closer to the path, attempting to see if there were any tire tracks I could follow. But both paths were covered with them. The groups who came here for hunting used these trails all the time, distorting any potential tracks I could use to follow.

My foot stomped the ground in frustration. A childish reaction, but no one was around to scold me, so I relished the freedom of lashing out. A noise that was nowhere near ladylike escaped me. The frustration bubbled in my stomach, my thoughts becoming hazy as the acidic powerlessness became overwhelming.

Cyclical thoughts of throwing myself back down the hill I had just walked up flashed through me. Sparks of sinful impulsivity caused my fingers to itch against my flushed skin. The temptation felt oddly comfortable, but I knew I wasn't capable of anything of those things.

The knowledge was a jarring reminder, forcing me to take a deep breath to compose myself.

With a clearer vision, I decided to choose the path deviating to the right. It led to a higher altitude, closer to the surrounding mountains, the incline slightly intimidating. I believed that if my Brother wanted a safe place to hide, he would choose somewhere almost impossible to get to by land or sky. Where the unruly wilderness could disguise his whereabouts.

It was an uneducated opinion. I reminded myself bitterly that I was doing my best after so many sheltered years. Where I never had the luxury of making decisions for myself. And this decision of whether to go left or right felt monumental.

I assured myself that I would forgive myself for my decisions later, knowing I had to learn how to trust my instincts. I was alone now, a choice I had made for myself. And choosing between left or right should become a choice made subconsciously. It could not be something that required time-consuming dissection.

I moved from the path again, but not as far as before. Now that complete darkness enveloped my senses, my vision was obscured, and I didn't want to risk losing sight of the path. Plus, I would see headlights from a distance if my Brothers men decided to move at night. Hopefully, buying me enough time to hide safely.