Ablaze

06

I was plunged into ice-cold water.

The impact felt like I had hit concrete as my back broke the surface.

The air was knocked out of my lungs from the collision and frigidness of the water.

My limp body fell further and further into the depths the water held. I was sinking, laying on my back, watching the surface become increasingly out of reach.

A lack of momentum caused the rate of my descent to slow, allowing me time to rationalize where I was.

Stopping myself once I gained control over my limbs, I twisted my body upright. My muscles no longer ached like they had in the room with the other boys, now feeling weightless.

All around me was an abyss of murky, blue-tinged darkness. Absolute silence curled around me in the desolate expanse of the water.

There was no sign of marine life around me or any indication of life. The water was calm beneath the surface, my body ethereally suspended in the water.

Air bubbles escaped my nose, and I watched them float back to the surface as I continued to leisurely sink lower and lower.

I was utterly alone.

It was strange. I didn't feel the desperate need to climb to the surface. My conscious mind had accepted that I was sinking, giving in on its fight for survival. My body no longer hurt, and my joints were no longer on fire.

Testing out the lack of pain, I quickly kicked my legs, my arms gliding from above me, pushing the water downwards to propel myself upwards.

"I'm sorry, Lenore, I swear I didn't know."

I halted momentarily in the water, my knees floating to my chest as my hands softly glided in the silky water. I was floating in shock, unsure if what I had heard was real.

Once my mind had caught up with my ears, I thrashed myself from side to side. My head whipped in every direction, attempting to find the source of the voice.

Familiarity poured through me as if I knew who the voice belonged to. The owner was someone who conjured attachment to the unconscious part of me I had no access to.

But all around me, I was alone.

I couldn't see very far ahead as there was no light source. I could barely glimpse my wiggling fingers in front of my face.

Right now, I knew nothing.

My head was crammed with emptiness, nothing to weigh me down. It was saving me from slipping into the eternal void beneath my toes.

Everything around me mattered, yet at the same time, nothing did.

"Withdrawals."

It was faint and muffled underwater, but the voice differed from the first. I whipped around again, expecting to see someone else behind me.

Discovering quickly the voices were coming from above me, I began to swim upwards again, this time with resolution.

If she didn't eat or drink yesterday, it's probably been at least forty-eight hours since the last dose.

The words were louder now, my hands helping to ascend my body with all my power. My lungs didn't hurt from lack of oxygen, nor did my body.

I was inching closer and closer to the surface. I could see the water moving above me as I began to reach the surface.

"Lithium, Valium, Rohypnol, Clozapine, Lamotrigine, Xanax, and shit I probably don't have the equipment to test for."

The voices were more lucid now and less distorted under the water.