Redemption {Charles Leclerc}

38

TRIGGER WARNING: Car accident; Panic attack. 

Sophia's POV.

"Hello? Earth to Sophia? Are you there? Hello?"

A hand keeps waving in front of your eyes and you finally snap out of your short state of shock.

"Ye... yes, yes. I'm here," you tell Charles and he sighs in relief.

"Are you okay? Do you not like the surprise?" he asks you with an insecure voice and sad eyes as he tries to catch your gaze.

You swallow harshly as you stare at the ground.

What to do? What to do?

You can be honest here and tell him that you really can't do this or you can suck it up for once and not ruin his surprise.

You look up to his face and his sad and worried eyes make the choice easy.

"No... yeah... I like it... a lot," you try to say as convincing as possible as you fake a smile.

Charles buys it easily and he immediately engulfs you in a hug.

"Ahhh I'm so glad you like it Soap. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" Charles says enthusiastic as he releases you from the hug and starts to drag you towards the entrance.

God, he's genuinely so excited to do this with you. There's really no way back without letting him down.

But surely you can't do this right? You can't step into a freaking go kart for the first time since... there's absolutely no way.

But you have to! You're already stuck in your lie. And Charles seems so happy that you "liked" the surprise. You don't want to disappoint him. You have to pull through with it somehow.

As you were deep in your thoughts, Charles already bought a time slot to drive and is given two helmets by the guy behind the front desk.

"You want red or blue?" Charles asks you with a smirk as he presents both helmets to you.

You give him a small grin.

"Seriously Charles? Is that even a question? Red ofcourse."

He widens his eyes. You know he's worried that he might be spotted and he probably doesn't want to be seen wearing a blue helmet.

"I'm kidding Charles. You take the red," you tell him with a small smirk.

He sighs in relief.

"Thank god," Charles says with a smile and you can tell he's actually relieved.

When you both have your helmets on, Charles grabs your hand and takes you to the karts. As you approach the track, your nerves really start to kick in badly. You feel the pace of your breathing getting faster and you're suddenly really sweaty. It's very hot inside this helmet.

Breath Soph. You need to breath.

You try to stay calm as you let Charles pick out a kart for you and he makes sure it's ready for you to step in. He helps you settle in while he's unaware that you're completely panicking inside.

You quickly thank him as he leaves to settle into his own kart. You rest your head on your backseat and close your eyes to make sure you're at ease.

You've got this. You know where the throttle is. You know where the brakes are. You're safe. You're wearing a helmet. The track is not busy. You're safe. You've done this before. You know how it works. You can do this. You're safe.

You try to tell yourself these encouraging words as Charles is getting ready beside you.

You suddenly hear an engine behind you and for some reason you shiver.

Easy Sophia. It's just an engine. That's normal around here. You hear engines all the time.

"You're ready to lose Soap?" Charles jokingly says from the kart on your right.

You lift your head and nervously look into his eyes.

You simply nod as you really don't have it in you to make any jokes right now.

"3...2...1... Let's go!!!" Charles says and he takes off.

You take one final breath and then softly press the throttle down. The kart moves and you feel your heartbeat rise.

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

You can't believe this is happening. You're actually driving.

You don't care that Charles is already pretty far ahead. This isn't a competition between you and him. This is a battle with your own fears.

You arrive at the first corner and easily turn the kart to the right. You slowly but steadily pick up the pace as you start to feel yourself relax a little bit more.

See. You've got this. You're safe.

You're still driving rather slowly compared to the other people on the circuit and you've lost sight of Charles. You just keep your own pace for now. This is what feels comfortable for now.

You just can't believe you're doing this right now. After all these years, you're actually driving. And although it's just a kart, this means a whole lot to you. This used to be your passion and you never thought you'd be able to carry out this passion again. This just can't be real.

When you pick up the pace into the final corner, you slowly feel that you might actually enjoy doing this again. The adrenaline rushing through your veins is something you've truly missed.

Just as you cross the finish line, everything changes. Two guys in front of you crash into each other in the first corner and a loud noise rumbles over the circuit as they both end up in the barriers.

Without thinking about your surroundings, you slam on your brakes as hard as you can.

A flashback of that black car slamming into your parents immediately appears in your mind. The screams. The clash. The silence.

"Sophia what the fuck?" Charles angrily says from behind you.

Apparently that's where he was driving.

"You can't just slam your brakes like that."

You feel your breathing getting heavier. You can't see anything. Everything starts to turn black. But it's noisy. The sound of the clash keeps replaying over and over again. The screams. It's all coming back.

Without even thinking about it, you undo your belt and you get out of the kart as fast as you can. You recklessly run over the track back to the entrance. You vaguely hear someone scream your name but you don't react to it. You run towards to the bathroom and lock yourself up. With the helmet still on, you break down against the wall and let yourself fall onto the floor.

Tears start to stream down your face like waterfalls and your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest. You want to take off your helmet as it's preventing you from breathing well but you don't have the strength to pull it over your head which makes you panic even more.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Scream. Clash. Boom.

Scream. Clash. Boom.

Scream. Clash. Boom.

Everything is spinning and you feel sick.

Where are you? Why can't you breath?

Scream. Clash. Boom.

Do I hear someone screaming my name?

Scream. Clash. Boom.

Charles?

Scream. Clash. Boom.

"Cha..."

Scream. Clash. Boom.

"He... help!"