Suicidal Love

chapter 2

The day ended and I was still processing what had happened today. first I had that abnormal dream then I saw Samantha and call her Sam. I also asked her how she was and I saw here at her weakest. And well I don't want to really talk about the other thing.

I wanted to talk to Samantha after school. but when I saw her she was smiling. but not in the way as she was on the rooftop she was faking it almost like I can see the tears in her eyes forming it felt as if she was trapped in a world she does not belong in. Was that what triggered her to go on the roof I didn't want to bother her or make anything uncomfortable with her friends so I just stood there looking at her she saw me took a quick glance and looked back at her friends. I understood what that meant she okay... ok.

I continued walking home along the street still thinking about what had happened today and how I saw Samantha looking hurt. I stood quiet the whole night my parents didn't mind I was always like that I when to go sleep but I couldn't. I slept an hour but that was it. As long as I didn't have an exam tomorrow it was fine. I usually slept in classes. The teachers don't bother because I still get a good grades but they don't like it either because I don't pay attention but still don't want to make a ruckus out of it.

*****

It was morning. I guess I did fall asleep.  I go to the bathroom and to wash up when I noticed I dry tear on my cheek. I guess I didn't have such a good dream. At school I was silent and most of my day was spent dozing off and staring at Samantha.

*****

It was last period and I couldn't wait to go back to my bed and just sleep. I noticed that Sam was in the halls. she was alone I guess waiting for her friends. I tried to get the confidence to go talk to her but I just made a fool of myself in the end she came up to me.

"Thanks I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there yesterday so thank you" I could tell she was holding back her tears so I hugged her without thinking and whispered "it's okay if ever you need anything just ask ok?" She backed away and nodded yes wiping a small tear off her cheek. Her friends arrived so she looked back at me smiling and continued talking with her friends.
I was the only one who knew her, how she really was, how she was feeling.

Does she trust me? I hope she does. I meant it I would be there if she ever needed anything.

*****

I got home once again quiet. For some reason my mom told me to come in to the kitchen. Sitting there was my mom and dad looking worried. Mom lifts her head up and starts speaking.
"Hey kai i- me and your father a-a-are a bit... worried umm i-in your sleep we heard you screaming t-to n-not jum..." My mom started crying. Still confused i look up to my dad. He continues.
"We heard you saying to someone not to jump and you were screaming so me and your mom when into your room and there you were talking to yourself about not killing yourself and that it will be ok.. so me and your mom wanted to know......
Are you alright is there anyth-"
I stop them quickly. I jump off the chair. i stand there silently. "look we care for you Kai and we just want you to know if anything is wrong you can come to us" i nod and leave going into my room as quick as possible.

OMG they almost found out what if they did would it be a bad thing. But I have to ask Sam before r-right. I paused maybe I should tell them NO WHAT AM I THINKING NONONONONONONO no telling.
That's it.
I calmed my self down sitting on my bed looking through the window. I can't be dreaming about her anymore.  I need to calm down. I am fine it's going to be fine. she is fine. I frown.
Going to sleep I was already tired so a good night rest is going to be good.

*****
still cookin 😔