When They See Us (Book 1.0)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Macy

The sounds of sirens fill my ears as I feel myself jerk awake. I open my eyes and notice I am being put into an ambulance. Shit, Macy, what did you do?

As I start to come out of the daze a little, I hear fussing outside the doors. My mother pushes through to get in with me. "No! Get out!" I scream and try to get up, but my body is too weak to fight. I fall back over onto the gurney, and the doors close as a medic tries to hook me up to fluids.

"Macy," Juliet starts to say.

"I don't want to hear it." Was it not for the ambulance driving away, I would have used all of my strength to shove her back out the door? I give her a dismissive look and try to ignore her.

"Sweetie, I know I don't remember much that happened to me before the overdose."

"Yeah, the overdose! You fucking overdosed and left me when I was 14 years old!"

"Macy, I know! You don't think I beat myself up every day, wishing I could remember my life! Daniel showed me pictures of you every day, explaining everything, the good and the bad. Honey, I wish I could remember. I do."

"You knew you had a daughter! They told you the moment you woke up. Why not just ask them to tell me, so I didn't have to spend the last four years thinking you were dead? I would have come to visit you! I would have been by your side the way Adelaide and her family were for me! I would have never started using drugs to fill the void that you left! Why!"

She sighs, tears brimming her eyes. But I don't want her tears! I want answers. I want to know what was so wrong with me that she had to overdose and leave me.

"When I woke up, the social workers convinced me that you were better off without me. That my addiction, regardless of if I remembered it, was still an addiction that I needed to fix before reconnecting with you again."

"And you believed them? That I was better off? I was put into a horrible foster home for a year. Until Daniel adopted me and introduced me to drugs just like he did you! I fucking started using drugs just like you!" I sigh and look to the ceiling, as it hits me how much I just hurt Adelaide. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. I just did exactly what you did to me, to Adelaide. I messed everything up."

I started crying, and Juliet pushed past the medic and pulled me into her. "I promised that I wouldn't relapse, and I did. She's never going to trust me again. What if she doesn't want to be with me anymore? What if I'm too damaged?" I start panicking and hyperventilating.

The medic looks at the machine next to us going off and then looks at me.

"Macy, baby, calm down. Addy loves you. From what Daniel told me, she always has, and from what I can see when she looks at you Macy, she will forgive you. Just give her time." I sob into her shirt. "I just hope one day you can forgive me for all the pain I've caused you," She mumbles under her breath.

I pull back from her and wipe my tears as we pull into the hospital. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you, but right now, I can't forgive you for leaving me. I will try, and maybe one day I will."

She nods her head, and the medics pull my gurney out and into the hospital. The doctors work on me, and I'm left alone in a room.

***

I stare into the darkness with tears in my eyes, realizing that I possibly just ruined my relationship.

I hear the door open, and a slither of light comes in from the hallway.

She doesn't bother turning on the light, and I watch as Adelaide walks to the bed. She stares down at me, and I see so much hurt and pain behind her puffy red eyes. She says nothing, only opens my blanket and squeezes herself onto the small bed with me. I lay the blanket back over us and pull her closer to me as I breathe in her scent.

She buries her head in my chest and begins to sob. I immediately feel my heart break. "I'm sorry Addy. I'm so fucking sorry." Tears begin to well up in my eyes.

She pulls me closer to her, her hand gripping the hem of my gown. "I thought I lost you," she whispers. I turn her around to face me, and I look into her puffy blue eyes with admiration. I raise her chin to me.

"I'm right here baby. I will never let this happen again. I was just so angry, and I wasn't thinking. I was hurt and I wanted to end it all, not stopping to think about anyone but myself. I was selfish Adelaide, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. Fighting to get better and stay strong. I'm so sorry I let this happen."

She sighs and opens her mouth but doesn't speak yet like she's not ready to say it. She looks up at me again, rubbing my cheek with her fingers. "Macy," she starts.

I stop her. "I know I ruined us. I betrayed your trust, and I put our relationship on a pedestal where you feel like you have to watch my every move again. I know Addy, just get it over with. Breakup with me."

She looks at me with anger in her eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

She sits up and looks down at me. "Do you believe that I would have spent my entire high school years watching you from afar and coming up with ways to reconnect with you only to fucking leave you because you have a sickness? You really think that lowly of me Macy?"

I shake my head "Adelaide, I didn't mean it li..."

"No! Shut up and listen to me!" I close my mouth as she cuts me off. "I had no intention of saying I wanted to end our relationship, so you can toss that nonsense out the window because you are stuck with me, forever! That includes in life and death! So if you get up and walk away from me, you can bet your sorry ass that I'll follow right behind you. If you choose death because life is too damn hard, I'll join you, and we'll meet the Grim Reaper together!"

"Addy, you are not dying just because I do!" I scream at her.

"You want to bet! Test me! Try some shit like this again! If you want me to live Macy, then you freaking live. That takes me back to what I was going to say before you told me to end this." she says, pointing between the two of us.

"You are getting help, Macy. No ifs, buts, or maybes. You will go to therapy again, you will go to NA meetings, and dammit Macy, you will try to make up with Juliet and Daniel. Not everything is their fault! Take some responsibility for once. They might have caused a traumatic event in your life, but you are the one that chose to put those fucking pills down your throat at the park after we begged you not to! You did that Macy. You are going to therapy to get the proper help you need because if you so much as try this shit again, I will kill you my damn self."

I watch as she is panting and out of breath from all the wrath she just unleashed on me. A smile rises on my face, and she softens her expression. "What Macy?"

All I want right now is to savor the taste of her mouth on mine, as I draw her closer to me. I lean back and gaze into her eyes. "I love you so much Adelaide," I say against her lips.

"You fucking better," she says, smiling.