Ed Sheeran x reader

tea pahty

" Beep, Beep, Beep!" Your annoying ass fucking alarm goes off. You roll around a few times before grabbing it and throwing it against the wall. Its the morning finally. You had been tossing and turning all night because you were so anxious to see ed. You get up and head to the bathroom. Start your morning routine of brushing your teeth, doing your skincare, taking a fat shit 🤪. You brush you silky hair and tie it up in a messy bun and head to your room to get dressed. You go through your closet and pick out a satin pink crop top laced with white ribbon and some white frilly shorts. You slide on your sneakers and grab your work apron. Since you won't be seeing him till around 9pm you decide to work until about 5. Yk gotta get that cold hard cash. You grab that greasy leather bag of yours and exit your house. Walk to your car, and drive to work.
_______________

The entire day you were antsy and shakey. Nervous about seeing him. You just wanted to rub his little fat head and stroke his dead hair. Finally you help your last customer pick out some color remover and turquoise hair dye, check them out and start to close the shop. Sweeping, checking all the money, saying goodbye to your co-workers. As you exit your co-worker cheeseboy stops you.

" Where are YOU going 😏" he says.
" Hm? um just home." you reply.
" You've been acting weird all day, I know for a fact you have different plans tonight. Is it a boy?'
You become flustered.
" U-uh why would you think that? who told you? what? a boy??"
he yuckles, " Well have a *yuckle* good night *chuckle*"
You smile, " You too cheese."

You step out the store and head towards your car. You get in and drive home. As you pull up and walk torwards the door you notice something at your doorstep. Its a bouquet of marigolds and a sunflower. There's a small card hanging out the side. You pick it up, open it and read it. In all caps in says " FOR MY MICROBE"
Your eyes light up and a smile spreads across ur nasty little face. You step inside and bring the roses with you, setting them on the table. You have to start getting ready now, you have to be stunning for him.

You take your shoes off and clothes. Undo your hair. And step into the shower. You wash your body with rose scented body wash. You shave your entire body including your arms, legs, stomach, armpits, and your lady bits. Oh and you can't forget the cheeks. You spread your fat ass and shave the little prickly ass hairs. You slip a little and get a little cut right next to ur bootyhole. " MY ARSE" you belt. You rinse the blood off and continue on. You finish your shower and dry off. Wrap yourself in a fluffy warm pink robe. Now it's time for your makeup. You do a pretty french inspired look. A full face. Then your hair. You Curl long soft curls. Your phone chimes and you realize you have about 20 mins left to get ready. You quickly throw on a fitted red dress and some matching pumps. Grab your Luis Vuitton red velvet bag and absolutely cover yourself in a glittery spray. Your phone rings. You recognize the number. Edison. You pick up the phone. " Hello?" you say in a innocent voice.
" AH MY TINKLEDINKLE YOU AWNSWERED!!! MY CHAFFUER IS COMING TO PICK U UP RIGHT NOW DAHLING!!!"
He hangs up and you leave your house too go outside. Outside is a British flagged cat with a man inside. He nods as if he's inviting you in.

You enter the car and he drives off. Its about 15 minutes later as you pull up to a beautiful garden with all kinds of flowers and fairy lights. " he's waiting." says the man. You get out and thank him and start walking torwards the lights.

You turn the corner and see him sitting there at a table filled with roses and sweets.
" WELL TICKLE MY WILLY THERE U ARE"
He's in a suit. He looks pulled together just for you. You see his hair is brighter. Must have dyed it.
You smile and sit next to him. His presence makes you shiver. He slightly touches your thigh. You thump.
" picklewilly." he whispers to you.
He's so handsome.
You look over.

" WHY DONT I INTRODUCE MYSELF AGAIN DAHLING WE KIND OF GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT BEFORE"
" that would be great."
" minä olen... ed 😇"
DID HE JUST SPEAK FINNISH??? how does he know this...
" IF UR WONDERING SWEETHEART I AM A FIN MYSELF!!"
this is unbelievable. You grew up in Finland your self, streaking around the streets, snorting salmiakki, etc. It was so nice you met someone with the same experience.
" you grew up in Finland??!"
" oh 😢 Ed didn't grow up in Finland Ed was adopted by British 😡"
" oh... that must have been so hard..."
" ya 😕"
This is awkward.
" hey um, I think I'm going to use the restroom. Can you tell me where it is?"
" OWH ARE YOU TAKING A POOPOO AT DADDYS HOUSE?? ALREADY ESTABLISHING YOUR TERRITORY?? 😏😏😏"
you blush and nod.
" that way bbg 😜" he points to a small shed in the distance. You get up and excuse yourself to the bathroom. Penis poo poo poooo!!! end of chapter papi left it off at weird note!!!