Hay Fever

Not Macbeth

"Tahani, this is your soulmate." Michael nodded toward Jason, who was sniffing one of the many bouquets in Tahani's mansion.

Achoo!

Tahani's attempt to greet her soulmate was interrupted by two more sneezes from Jason. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Hay fever," Michael said. "For some reason, that wasn't in his file." It was a surprise, and Michael didn't care for surprises, not on the first day of his grand "Good Place" experiment.

"I'm surprised allergies exist in the Good Place," Tahani said as Jason sneezed again.

"They aren't supposed to." With a wave of Michael's hand, the allergy was cured. "That should be the end of it. Speak up if there's a recurrence." He grinned at Jason. "Although of course you don't speak, not with your vow of silence."

He repeated the cure in the first reboot, and the second. After that, Michael added remove Jason's allergies to the reboot parameters, so it happened automatically.

It wasn't until Michael saved Jason's life in Jacksonville that he realized why the information was missing from the file. Jason's neighborhood was entirely paved over, with no flowers for miles, so his allergies weren't discovered when he was alive.

That is, it wasn't an issue until Jason reunited with Team Cockroach in Australia. The campus had extensive gardens, and Jason was sneezing constantly. Michael watched as the other humans offered him various medications. With Janet's help, Michael kept track of which ones worked fastest, which lasted longest, and which were most effective.

Perhaps the most frustrating part about being marooned on Earth without his powers was that Michael couldn't cure Jason's allergies. The sneezing was annoying, and now that Michael was reformed, he felt a little sorry for Jason and for everyone Jason sneezed on.

"Janet, could we develop a cure for hay fever?"

#

"Hey, Jason!"

Jason turned around and saw bow-tie-dude waving from a doorway. After wandering around the university hallways for the last hour looking for the way out, he was happy to see a familiar face. "Hey, homie! What are you doing here?"

"How would you like to join a medical trial?"

"I've been in lots of trials," Jason said. "I'm usually on the defense. Could I be on the offense this time?" His hero Blake Bortles played offense for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Jason wasn't sure who the quarterback was in court. Maybe the judge?

Bow-tie-dude patted Jason's shoulder. "Not that kind of trial, buddy. Janet and I have been working on a cure for hay fever. We'll give you a drug we've developed and see if it works."

"Oh, yeah! I've tried lots of drugs. Sometimes doctors pay me to take stuff, and sometimes Pillboi steals stuff, and sometimes —"

"Yes, that's fine. I already know your drug history," bow-tie-dude interrupted. "This way." He led Jason to a room where a chalkboard was filled with weird symbols and long words. Or long symbols and weird words.

"Oh, hi!" Jason said to Janet. "I didn't know you were a doctor."

"Although I know more than most human doctors, I don't have a degree. I'm just playing a doctor." She rolled up his sleeve and gave him a shot and held his hand and talked to him, and it was nice.

"I didn't know this is what playing doctor meant," Jason told her.

Bow-tie-dude said, "Shall we see if your hay fever is gone?"