Ode to Memento

Soundtrack #1: traitor.

What happened before Catherine congratulated Narcisse and Lola on their wedding?

Catherine sat still in front of her mirror after the deed was done.

Exile had been good to me. I still look good.

She contemplated. Being her daughter-in-law's prisoner was one thing. But being exiled by her son for an act she considered to be justified was the worse defeat yet. Still, after all of that, look who saved France from utter failure?

I am. I saved you all. Again.

Her reflection affirmed that. Beneath the dirt from the cell and the dirty stunt she pulled off on the English ambassador, after one hot bath, she was still the queen mother of this country. But the weight of everything that transpired felt so heavy that her shoulder felt the slump. A heavy sigh ensued and a knock on the door.

"Come in." Her commanding voice was back in its glory. For a minute, she forgot why the servants arrived. But then she saw the gown they carried. "Is the wedding ceremony done?" After the words left her mouth, she felt a bitter pill form in her throat.

I must not be affected. I am not hurt.

She convinced herself. But the servant replied. "Yes, Your Grace. The festivities have started an hour ago. The newlyweds are currently gracing the dance floor as we speak."

She felt her heart skip a beat and a tear about to form. She envisioned what the servant informed: Narcisse and Lola, holding each other, smiling at one another, imagining what their married life would bring them as they dance and kiss.

I can't believe that pretty young thing bagged that vicious viper.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

My vicious viper. My equal. My lover. My man. My Narcisse. He's mine.

She opened her eyes as she felt drowned by her possessive adjective.

She let out another heavy sigh and hid her shaking hands by clasping them together.

"Very well. Start with my hair. We don't want to disappoint such a momentous occasion."

She sarcastically smiled at the mirror and terrified the hell out of the servant. As her hair was being made, so was her plan for revenge on everyone who mistreated her. As she put on her coat, she protected herself from whatever emotion she might feel. As she placed her crown, she readied herself with what she was about to do. She stood in front of the mirror and saw what she'd become.

"Leave." With just one word, the servants scurried out of the chambers.

Her full-body reflection spoke volumes beyond what she comprehended. She looked divine. But no other soul was there to take notice. She was fumed with vengeance. But she felt weak to her core and started to cry. It felt incessant and painful.

She let her mind break down the facts that she should catapult her out of the room. She hated the fact that she felt helpless in this situation. She hated the fact that no matter what power she held, it would never be enough to have the happiness she deserved. She hated the fact that Narcisse chose to break her heart and believed she could protect herself from it.

She clenched her fist as she reminisced how it all started.

Everybody knew what Narcisse and Catherine were before he felt the need to betray the queen mother. They were the formidable force that stood firm and took hold of France when the country was about to crash and burn. But the passion they shared in saving their country was the same flame they ignited when they took each other as lovers.

He thought that Catherine understood where he perceived the relationship when they started. They were contemporaries and supposedly knew how the game worked. But she treated the whole situation differently. Her mind voiced what it was for her.

Ain't it funny? We had all our twisted games and the questions you used to avoid.

She scoffed to continue her silent mockery.

Ain't it funny? That when I finally brought her up, you told me I was paranoid.

She shook her head in disbelief.

But it took you my entire exile to go on and have her. And I know if you were true, there's no damn way that you could fall in love with somebody that quickly.

She questioned everything she held dear in their relationship.

So how could you do that? How could you deny your feelings for her? All I needed was your honesty. That's all our games required. But you chose to lie.

She stopped her mind to take one more look at herself in the mirror. But her train of thought kept running.

God, I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.

She threw the vase from her bedside to the floor. Then, cursed the bed where she took him in for the first time.

When she's sleeping in the bed we made, don't you dare forget about the way you betrayed me.

She cried and buried her shouts in the pillow.

'Cause I know you'll never feel sorry for the way that I hurt.

Her mind narrated the reality she saw.

But you'd talk to her when we were together. I loved you at your worst. You even gave me your word. But that didn't matter.

She threw everything her hand could hold until the atmosphere in the room felt compressing to her wit's end. She slowly calmed down. She gently pulled herself back up and dried her tears.

With the only energy she had, she smiled. With all the havoc she created in her room, it was time for her to do the same to their lives. The taste of impending vengeance was going to be sweeter like the wine she drank before confirming what Narcisse was.

"You didn't cheat. But you're still a traitor, Stéphane Narcisse."

Then, she left the room and congratulated the newlyweds as she returned to their lives.