Unexplainable Feelings

2.

I walk past Charlotte; I know her blood is boiling.  People knew me because I was nice and caring. Many also told me that it was because of my beauty.

I use to be insecure about my skin tone, hair, eyes, my features in general. We live in a society, that is about looks and body. As a kid, I wanted to be white with blue eyes and blond hair. I've grown and realized how beautiful my skin tone and many other parts of me are.

Not only that but in a Hispanic household, it's so toxic that makes you insecure about many things. Our parents say, "We do this because we love you and want you to be prepared for real life." that isn't the "love" we need as a kid.  That only made me hate myself as a kid.

I'm happy that my skin color is brown. It's not the same brown as it was when I was a kid, but it's still a shade of brown. I'm tan during the winter and get this nice golden bronze color in the summer. My eyes are a dark brown, almost black. I felt confident in myself; grew to love each part of myself.

It wasn't easy, at times you don't feel as confident but that's okay.

I walk into math class and sit in the very back. I put in my AirPods and listen to Mac Miller. I start working out the warm-ups.  I HATE math, it's cool and all but too much work.

I say I hate all my classes.

Time goes by and it's already the last class of the day. I don't talk to anyone except two people. I've always felt out of place. Being the only Mexican in the class. Everyone talked to each other while I sat there.

The door opens and the principal whispers to the teacher. A student walks in. Another stuck-up white boy. I don't have anything against white kids but most of them in this school won't talk to you unless you're white or have money.

"Everyone this is Javaid" Mr.Author announces.

Kids are already talking to him. I'm glad this class is only for 1st semester.

We have a big assignment the teacher gave us. Me and my partner were helping each other out, even though it wasn't "group work". It was a research essay we'll have to present in front the whole class.

"Once you all finish your research paper I'll pair you up tomorrow in groups to practice with on another." Mr.Author said.

My research paper was about three pages long since we only have 4-5 minutes to present.

"I'll facetime you later so we can help each other out." Spencer yelled across the hall before he went out the door. I just gave him a thumbs up.

I walk to my car and grab my softball bag. I found softball as my escape from reality, besides books. Do I suck? Maybe, but that won't stop me. I close my trunk, turned around and see the new boy resting on my car.

"Umm, can I help you?" I spoke up with a confused look on my face.

"Could you help me find Mr.James?" he spoke in such calm deep voice. He had this big Italian accent.

I stared at him for a minute then spoke up "I actually need to go to the field before I'm late, but I could give you instructions." I felt bad, but coach would make me run half the practice around the field if I'm late.

"It's fine." he said as he walked away.

"Oh, okay..." I said not really caring because I'm about to be late. I sprint past him and down to the field. I had a feeling he would be a jerk. But again, I don't care.

-------------------------------------------

Practice was done after what felt like forever. I walk to my car and put my bags in the back. I put down the windows and play "La Cancion" by Bad Bunny. I'm speeding and making my way to my favorite dinner.

Mom isn't usually because of work and well, I don't live with my dad. So I like going out because I feel like I suffocate at home. My siblings are pretty sure at home.

"Hey Kate!" I said to the owner. I work here during the weekends. I don't really need a job, but I want to make money on my own.

"Hey Alora, you want your usual milkshake?" she speaks to me with such the sweatiest voice.

I take out my book while I wait for my milkshake. It's always quiet here. People from school don't really know of this place.

"I have a nephew who just got here from Italy." Kate speaks making a conversation.

"Really? How old is he?" I have a feeling like it's the jerk.

"He's 17, he plays baseball and hockey . He's trying to join his school baseball team." Kate says as she brings over my milkshake.

"Oh... Well I've heard our baseball team needs more guys." I say knowing the nephew is the jerk.

"Do you know him?" Kate asks.

"If his name is Javaid, yes I do." I drink out of my milkshake.

The door bell rings. "Speak of the devil." Kate says with a smile.

I turn around and see him walk in. Seems like he was working on a car. His shirt was off, his hand dirty with car oil, and his abs were toned. Sweat dripping down his body. Gosh was he a good looking jerk.

"Put a shirt on, this is a dinner!" Kate speaks in Italian. I'm sure it was Italian....

He makes direct eye contact.

"Well, I am going to go. See you tomorrow." I say as I pay and walk past him.

"Honey, you know you don't have to pay." Kate says. I just smile at her and walk out the door.

I get home and take a shower. I walk downstairs to the kitchen to make dinner. I love cooking and baking. My mom gets home and everything was taken care off. Kids were asleep and fed. I finished homework and was getting ready for bed.

I get into bed and fell asleep as soon as my head touched my pillow.