Nurturing Beyond

Flutters of Fear

As a young women, Leah sat reading in a corner of the library, immersed in the knowledge therein. For years after the death of Werner, she had ordered all her thoughts in one direction. Love had employed her for greatness but for her children, the same love employed them for years at levels of starvation.

When she was about to conceive her third child,  Lily and Puah could't imagined how desperately they had to look for a way to save Lily's new-born son and for Lily, she could see herself talking to the midwives. She feared that her son will be taken away from her. 

Leah could't hold herself. She pushed herself up on her elbows, began to drag herself across the bed as her contractions worsen. As the baby drew closer and closer her breath tightened; dread flooded through her . Finally she reached the midwife, took hold of her hand, held it tightly in hers.

She could't see the the midwife better. "I can't" Leah responded, her voice raspy. "My legs hurt. The contractions were painful that Leah could't go on. Leah knew better. She knew she will have to raise the child by her own and I guess, she was not prepared for motherhood yet as a single women. She overheard the midwife, Lily and Puah's  conversation about Walter cheating on her and how that affected her drastically . The images she imagined from the conversation hurt her heart...the cry of an innocent child  she do not know how to take good care of...Her begging "Please God," groaning and breathing slowly totally tired from giving birth. Leah was starring ahead, keeping her eyes pinned on the midwife. Out of frustration, she tried to grab and strangle the midwife with no success. The images hurt her soul...the flutters of hurt during recovery from giving birth...the scares left behind with birth memories. And the blood...so much blood staining the sackcloth she gave birth on. It seemed to Leah that everything happened very fast.