Sanity // Fezco Euphoria

Chapter 1

Where it all Started.

Narrated by: Leilani Bennet. (Only for this chapter)

(This whole chapter is a flashback!) (Also, its 4.7k words but the next chapters will be like half that size, I've come to realize that long chapters are not enjoyable to read on Wattpad lol.)

I was born into a seemingly amazing life with parents who were genuinely perfect. Leslie & Robert, my mom & Dad, were hopelessly in love. They'd gotten married 12 months before my twin & I were born. Summer wedding. Our expected birth date was 8/20/2002. From the beginning, Dad said that they had this 'unshakable feeling' that me & Rue would be troublemakers. We proved them right when we fought our way into being born a week early. I, Leilani, aka the better twin, was born 17 minutes before Rue. Gia came two years later, another summer baby. Summer just seemed to be our season, almost every year it brought us something good. On their 5th wedding anniversary, we all watched Mom & Dad's wedding tapes for the first time & it. was. magical. Mom always described her special day as, "Something straight out of a fairytale," which made 3-year-old me hopeful for my future love life. I firmly believed that I'd get my fairytale until I got to high school & saw men for who they really are. Which is a pretty good example of how growing up showed my sisters & I that life was absolutely nothing like any fairytale that we'd ever heard of.

My relationship with my twin was... dysfunctional, to say the least. We were two completely different people. She was the more passive twin, while I had to attend intense anger management classes. But most people still considered me the lucky sister. Rue had shown many signs of mental illness starting in elementary school. Eventually she was diagnosed with OCD, ADD, general anxiety disorder, and possible bipolar disorder. Before any of her diagnoses, I'd been a dumb cruel sister. I was just as young and confused as she was (if that makes what I'm about to say any better.) Rue would display symptoms of mental illness & I couldn't think critically enough to equate her behaviors/mannerisms as anything but weird & annoying. One night, when we were just 7, she whispered to me from the top bunk.

"Hey... Leilani?" Her voice was low. I guess she figured that if I was awake, her volume was loud enough to get my attention. She was right.

"Yeah?" I spoke low, just like she did, but my intentions were simply to not wake up our parents in the next room.

"Sometimes, I get these thoughts like," Rue was quiet for a second, pondering, "They're like, 'Hey Rue, if you don't flip this light switch on & off 3 times, Leilani will die.' & Lei... they really scare me. I don't want you to die."

"Why do you lie so much, Rue? Jesus, I wish I had a normal sister." To this day, I regret being so stupid. Rue deserved my support in that moment. It was a defining memory for both of us. Her muffled sobs that followed will always be on loop in my head. Even 10 years later, she had never seen me as someone she could confide in ever again. After she got formally diagnosed, either later that year or early the next year, I carried the guilt of that night with me forever. I should've apologized to her. I never did though. That memory triggered Rue's subtle resentment towards me & she never let it go. Understandably. Things between us only got worse from there.

Gia & I got along slightly better than I did with Rue. I'm not sure if I got the bad genes but growing up, I was constantly mistreating my sisters & barely ever feeling guilty about it. Younger me was so easily provoked. Anger was like all little Leilani had for breakfast, lunch & dinner, every single day, with a side of actual food. Gia & Rue, however, were inseparable until Miss Rue started getting deep into drugs.