*okay so this is my first official phanfiction so please give me feed back and this is shorter than I imagined, but there's loads more to come!*
Dan woke in a sweat, the comforters sticking to his barren chest. Even though the demons of his mind made his sleep a living hell, it was nice to get any sleep at all. You see, this had been a pretty shitty week for Dan. Firstly, he had found out that Phil was leaving for a couple of days, for reasons he wouldn't share. This meant Dan was practically alone with himself and his thoughts. Secondly, Dan had been receiving an alarming amount of hate. Normally this kind of stuff doesn't get to him, but feeling so weak without Phil, he let it get out of hand.
"I'm just a complete and utter failure! Why am I even here?? God, I should just stop trying, it would make everybodys lives easier. Why don't you work you usless shit?!"
Were the thoughts screaming through Dan's head the whole week which in term led to our third problem - existential crisis. Most of his week was spent laying on the floor, hating himself and humanity. He had barely slept seven hours the entire week.
Examining his face, you would see his eyes were festering shades of red witb pitch black bags underneath. His cheeks were also red with permanent stains of white from endless nights of crying. His nose was raw from constantly blowing it. Dan, feeling more awake, went into the bathroom and noticed these himself. A tear couldnt help but flea his eye as he examined the mess he had become. His hand had fallen his arm. He slowly over it, feeling the skid of sinful scars gone too deep. The row of scars felt almost endless. A storm of bad, traumatic memories flooded his head like a tropical storm. A hefty supply bulliess, embarrassment , and loneliness got to Dan. He had fallen to the floor curled up in a ball, his tears filling in the empty spaces.
"What's wrong with me?!?!?", Daniel yelled throwing his arms up. That was the tipping point for him. He slowly brought himself up onto his knees. He opened the top drawer and grabbed a razor. This was the same one that Phil had swatted out Dan's hands when they had first moved in together and first realized just how badly they needed each other.
(FLASHBACK*) *Phil had found Dan alone in the bathroom, blood dripping from his arms. Tears gushing, Dan uttered
" You can leave if you'd like, I know it's a pain having to constantly care and worry about me. Phil dropped to the floor where Dan lied, carefully him by the wrists, looked into his deep brown eyes and said
" I dont care what its takes Dan I am not leaving you, especially like this. I will ALWAYS be here for you whenever you need me, for anything. You are my only friend, my best friend, and I have no clue what the hell I would do without you by my side. The day I stop caring for you is the day I die. I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in my power to help you, no matter what the cost physically or to my health or well-being. And dont you EVER forget or doubt just how much I care about you."
Phil leaned in closer and kissed Daniel on the cheek. Dan's cheeks turned bright red. Making sure what just happened really happened, Dan turned to face Phil who was looking off into the corner embarrassed until their eyes met. Dan was tired of being a coward and finally moved in, making his move on Phil, planting a big, tounge packed kiss right on his lips. After an awkward silence, Phil helped Dan up and they stayed up all night talking. *(endflashback)
"I wish you were here Phil", Dan croaked. Just then he got a text from Phil ,
"Ughhh this place is so boring! I miss you, but i do have a surprise for yoy when I get back!" Dan slowly put down his phone down and hesitantly picked up the razor. For what seemed like the longest time he sat trying to stop himself, but eventually his demons won as they pierced his skin again and again. His phone went off again, this time it was twitter . Dan looked to see that Phil had tweeted about how much he was looking forward to seeing Dan again. After reading this a couple of times he broke again and this time sent his razor hurling across the room.
"Thank you." Dan said kissing his phone for the.internet once again saving his life.
