Tell Me How To Be Like You (Zarry)

"I'm sorry, Zayn"

Zayn was staring at his phone, not believing Harry just hanged up on him, he didn't know what to do, his heart told him to call Harry again and apologize, though his ego said he didn't do anything wrong, and it wasn't the first time that he chose his ego over his heart.

the weed was just burning out between his fingers, he took a long drag not wanting it to go to waste, wondering why Harry had to be so childish, why did he have to be against having some fun.

He was deep in his thoughts when he felt someone's warm breathe on his neck, small, cold hands on his chest, "don't you wanna come back to the bed?" Zayn turned around to look at the person in the face, if he remembers correctly, he was the one he took to his bed last night? Or one of them at least.

The guy was beautiful, green eyes framed with long black lashes, white skin with dark tattoos almost all over his body, the more Zayn stared at the guy the more he wanted to run away, he couldn't keep looking at his green eyes and not think of his boyfriend. The one who he just cheated on with a guy who looked like him yet so different.

Walking out wasn't an option though, the guy sat on Zayn's lap, taking the weed from him to smoke it himself, "you have no idea who I am, do you?" Zayn was frozen, he didn't want to sound like an asshole who was so drunk that he forgot who he slept with, so he kept quiet, "figured," the guy rolled his eyes and came closer to Zayn's face, "name's Ian," he kissed Zayn on the lips, "think you'll remember me next time." Zayn was shocked, all he could do was nod his head.

In the pit of his stomach he felt sick, the guilt was building up, so he gently pushed the guy off his lap, "where are you going?" he ignored him completely. Wearing his hoodie, he walked to his car, he needed some time alone. That's when the master of 'waking up your conscience' called him.

He didn't need to feel even more guilty than he already did, so he didn't answer his phone, but Niall wasn't one to give up just like that.

The fifth time, Zayn decided to answer, "yes, Niall ?"

"Zayn you do know that you are a total asshole, right?" here we go again.

"I don't have time for this." He was about to hang up, maybe he would feel less hurt that Harry hung up on him?

"I dare you to hang up," Niall said way too serious, "you can kiss the next party goodbye." Niall threatened him, with parties, yes he had the power as his agent he could make his life a living hell if he wanted to.

"what do you want?" Zayn rolled his eyes, he didn't want to explain his actions to his agent, he wouldn't understand anyway.

"Harry called me, how can you treat him like that, Zayn? Why don't you just break up with him and whore around all you want? Do you really have to fuck up his life like that?" Niall said with one breath, he was so angry, he loved them both, but he couldn't just do nothing and let Zayn ruin Harry's life.

"I can't believe he calls you for shit like this! I love him, Niall !"

"love who exactly? Harry? Mike? Jason? Oh, wait there was this girl too, Fiona? Oh wait, she was just an experiment, you are gay, or are you?"

"no one's laughing, Ni."

"Good! cause I wasn't joking! How is that love?" Niall raised his voice a little. which was somehow out of character for him. He was losing his temper and he was just this close to punishing Zayn with something. Maybe tell everyone who he was behind the cameras?

"Just because I sleep with other people doesn't mean I don't love Harry! I have some needs, and he isn't always here!"

"oh my god, you are a lost cause! So it's ok for Harry to sleep with others too, huh?"

Zayn snorted, Harry won't ever do that, "people are different, Niall ."

Niall shook his head, he had enough of his bullshit, "last warning, Zayn, this time I saved your ass, next time, I'll make sure he knows what happens in those after-parties." With that, he hanged up.

"what's with people hanging up on me today," Zayn mumbled, driving to the nearest coffee shop to get his morning caffeine, he was hungover and coffee was his only medicine.

Sitting in his car with his warm coffee in one hand and his phone on the other, he was going through the pictures he had of him and Harry on his phone, the most recent one was from their anniversary, well, not the exact day, because Zayn was busy dancing with strangers in a club to remember what day it was, Harry was mad at him, sure, but all Zayn had to do was to take him for a walk at a beach for Harry to forgive him, wrapping the day up with makeup sex.

That was three months ago, Zayn remembers promising Harry they would meet again for Christmas, and he will be there for Harry for the new year's party, but he knew Harry would probably want to just stay home and have some tea and cookies, no party when he was around, maybe Zayn should reschedule their plans? It wasn't too hard to come up with something, he just didn't want to miss out on a great party!

Zayn rested his head on the cold window, staring at Harry's happy face, does he still love Harry? Well, yes, but is he still in love? Or does he just keep going back because he is used to having him in his life?

What Niall said kept playing in his head, maybe he should break up with Harry, all they ever do is fight anyway, Harry doesn't understand him, it felt like he didn't belong in Zayn's world anymore. But even the thought of losing Harry for good hurt him, he could feel a sob building up in his throat, he let a tear slip down, he couldn't do that to himself, Harry was his anchor. And someone like Zayn always needs someone to pull him up and remind him that he could start his journey again.

So till he was sober enough to make an actual conversation with Harry, he decided to call him, "here goes nothing." He huffed waiting for Harry to pick up.

"Hey," Harry answered, his voice was soft, maybe he was scared, maybe he was as unsure as Zayn was, which made Zayn's heart drop, but he paused for too long and Harry couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, Zayn."

It wasn't how Zayn imagined the conversation would start, "what?" he was shocked, he thought he had to beg Harry for forgiveness.

Harry let out a huff, trying to control his emotions, he was talking in the school halls, being too loud wasn't an option, "for overreacting, I didn't mean to lash out, I was just worried but that doesn't justify the way I acted-"

"Stop, it's fine, it's over now." Should he apologize too? "so are we cool?"

Harry smiled, "yeah, we are cool."

"Alright, I have to go, talk to you later? Bye!" he couldn't keep talking, he kinda felt like shit for not saying he was sorry, but deep down, he didn't even feel sorry, he just felt bad cause Harry was so naïve, and he wanted to say sorry only to keep Harry with him anyway, so he took a breath and closed his eyes, trying to forget about the fight, about the people in his house, about the mess he calls his life.

Harry's mood changed too fast though, Zayn was sure they will have a huge fight, "fuck, is he taking his meds?" he mumbled under his breath, then he thought he is a grown man, of course he is taking care of himself.

Now he felt like he needed a drink. Well, ever since he started his career after the talent show, he felt like he needed to get drunk every day, since he had to leave Harry, his home, his family, he wasn't doing anyone a favor when he was sober.

He knew whatever he had with Harry was slipping away, he didn't have the same grip on his life, on his feelings anymore, he knew he couldn't quit drinking his stress away, and getting drunk always lead him to make bad decisions.

Harry could never find out about what really happens in his life, ever. This time he got lucky, and something told him this luck won't last forever.

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hello every one, I'm so sorry for the late and short update, I'm really busy with work and everything, but I'll try to do better next time.

thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

love you all!