Tell Me How To Be Like You (Zarry)

"He's too much for me!"

It was around 3 in the morning and Zayn just came home from a crazy party. He was far away from being sober and last thing he needed was the envelope he saw on the counter, he huffed in frustration. Why? Cause Niall answers all of the fans letters himself but he leaves Zayn to deal with Harry's.

"I swear Niall, you are doing this on purpose." He mumbled under his breath and walked towards the counter. He eyed the envelope before picking it up to take it to his bedroom.

The plan was to put the letter in the shoe box under his bed where he keeps all of Harry's letters. But this time he decided to read it first.

"Damn you Niall." He rolled his eyes and ripped open the envelope.

Dear Zayn

Hi baby. Another day went by and I'm alone in my room wishing you were here with me. Is there any chance that I could find an easier way to miss you? Cause with the way it's going the pain is getting worse every day. Wasn't time supposed to make it easier? Sometimes I wonder how is it going for you. Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

I know you won't be replying to this letter and there is a high likelihood this one being lost in the pile of letters you receive every day. But if by any chance you are reading this, I need you to know that I'm staring at the pictures I have of you every night before going to bed. I wish you were here so I could take new pictures of you.

But pictures don't do the job well enough. I wish you were here so I could record you while you argued with me over food. Or when you had your face buried deep in those notebooks while writing lyrics. Or when you were sleeping and I would just record your peaceful face.

To be honest, I want to make it a short letter. But It's just impossible to keep myself from rambling when it comes to you.

Call me if you got this please. It doesn't matter what time it is; I just want to hear your voice.

All the love, Harry.

Zayn was reading the letter for the fourth time when he stopped himself from going any further. He tossed the letter on the bed and closed his eyes to clear his thoughts, trying so hard to shake off the guilt.

His phone was in his hands and he was debating whether to call Harry or not. Zayn knew it was around 11 AM for Harry, so he was most definitely awake. But was Zayn ready to talk to him after coming home from a party where he basically ignored that he was in a relationship and did some stuff that even single guys won't do?

Picking up a pillow and shoving his face in it, he screamed out his frustration. Meanwhile he heard a beep from his phone.

A text message.

From none other than his favorite person in the world. Niall.

Did you see the letter?

He decided texting won't do. So he called him. And after second ring, Niall picked up.

"What the fuck Niall?"

There was a short silence from Niall, then he spoke up. "You have to be more specific."

"Why did you have to leave Harry's letter at my house?"

Instead of answering though, Niall started laughing out loud.

"What's so funny?!"

"Dude what else am I supposed to do with his letters?! Did those drugs finally mess your brain up?"

"You answer fan's letters! Just do the same for him!"

Again, Niall was silent. Genuinely doubting if Zayn was being serious. "What? Next you'll ask me to sleep with him for you?"

"Fuck off Niall. Don't go there! You know what I mean!"

"Dude I really don't!" Niall was getting frustrated. He was in the middle of finishing their plan for the next month when Zayn called, he couldn't afford to be distracted for too long.

"You are doing this on purpose!" Zayn on the other side of the phone was pacing in his room pulling on his hair a little, not knowing what else to do with his free hand.

"Zayn-"

"No! You can't just throw guilt at me like this!"

Niall wanted to tell him that he wouldn't have felt guilty if he hasn't done something wrong. But Zayn's tone was too stressed for him to continue with arguing. "Calm down-"

"You think this can change me somehow? Like one day I wake up and I'm not deep into this mess just cause Harry misses me? Do you think just because we were good for each other one day we will work forever?!" he started coughing while he was rambling. "He's too much for me! He doesn't understand me! What am I supposed to do?! It's not my fault!"

When Niall noticed the coughing fit was getting worse from Zayn's side of the phone he started to worry.

Let's be honest. Zayn ruined his lungs a long time ago. But Niall couldn't be sure it was from smoking too much or a panic attack.

"Zayn! Listen to me! You don't have to answer his letter! I will if you want me to!" the sound of coughing was getting to the point that Niall wanted to just take his car and go to Zayn's place and just answer Harry himself.

"You don't get it! Nobody gets it!"

Niall so wanted to tell him to break up with Harry already but it wasn't a good time for it. He decided to just listend for now.

"Try me." Niall said. Waiting for Zayn to explain his point.

Zayn took some time to calm down his lungs before he said, "He doesn't fit in my life anymore."

The line was quiet. Niall was shocked at the confession. And Zayn couldn't believe he said those words out loud.

"Then why don't you just end this misery?"

"You've never been in love. You just don't understand." Zayn mumbled as he laid back on his bed, eyeing the letter that was about to fall off the edge of the bed.

"Yeah but anyone can tell whatever you have with Harry is not love anymore." Niall shook his head in disbelief.

Zayn decided to end the call because there was no way of explaining when even himself couldn't understand why he couldn't let go of Harry.

He pulled himself up and reached for the letter again. Without reading it this time, he put it in the box with other letters he had from Harry.

Life could've been so much easier if Harry tried to understand that Zayn was not the same person as he was before he was famous. Their relationship wouldn't have been this broken if Harry could just stop being so isolated. To Zayn, it was all Harry's fault. All Zayn needed was someone to understand that he wasn't a normal person with normal needs anymore.

How could he make Niall realize that even though he didn't feel in love with Harry at this point, he couldn't let go of whatever they had? Loving harry was proven to be harder than he thought it would be years ago. But he still couldn't get himself to breakup with him. He didn't have the strength. He couldn't be the one who does it.

**********
Hello my lovely readers!
Its been a long time since I've updated this and trust me its been a hard task.
For some reasons writing Zayn's side of story is harder for me🥲. So excuse the short chapter🥲

Your Votes and comments will be much appreciated 🤌

Thanks for reading!
Love you all!