The End or The Beginning

Immortality

Living forever. It's something that alot of people seem to think is good. It's not.

I watched all my loved ones pass away, I watched fashion change, new things become popular, king and queens be taken down by their own kingdom. I watched people kill others, I killed some myself.

I wish I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to immortality, I wish I read the fine print. Although my family, who lived almost an entire century ago, has passed, I still feel as if I could have saved them. Maybe that's why I'm still here, still roaming the earth.

I watched as space travel was invented, watched as Starfleet Academy became the number one most wanted school, watched as the grandchildren of my grandchildren became higher up in Starfleet Academy. All from the shadows. Until he found me.

I was, curious to say the least. No one has known my name for years, he asked me to join his 'continuum'. A group of immortals like he, a place where I wouldn't be so alone. I asked what his name was, he said everyone was called 'Q' as I didn't wish to be called this, I got to keep my name. Over the years I watched my great great grandchild, James Kirk, become one of the best Starfleet Captains I'd ever seen. Although, I do wish he told Mr. Spock how he felt.

I was, even though I'd seen it millions of times, always entranced by the new captains of the starships they built. But it wasn't until a ship that Q called the 'USS Enterprise D' came closer to our territory and furthermore unexplored space, at least in human terms. Strange, I didn't even think myself human any longer.

Q tried to convince Captain Jean-Luc Picard to turn back, that it was unsafe. I was on the bridge with him as he was doing this, I couldn't help myself. Jean-Luc, or Johnny as Q called him, looked exactly like my darling husband. I wasn't expecting the young child, Wesley, to spot me. He's a smart young man, very observant. Q was very confused as to why I was there and why I didn't stand beside him. I didn't hear the numerous questions he asked, instead I walked to stand Infront of Picard. I offered to Q to stay on the Enterprise, keep the humans safe. He saw right through that, said something along the lines of Picard not being my husband, that he died long ago as most humans did, that it was a miracle that I didn't.

In what was not my finest moment I snapped. It was the first time I had raised my voice to a man, or at least a being that presented itself as a man, I was taught not to yell at any man as they were my superiors. I couldn't help myself, I was completely embarrassed after. Immediately leaving, I commited such an act of treachery, how could I stay? Oh how my mother would turn in her grave if it was still there.

I met with the fine crew of the Enterprise again, without Q. I wished to apologize. It was unladylike and disgusting that I yelled at a man. The sweet Jean-Luc, though, said I had no need to apologize and that times have changed, women weren't controlled, as he said, by men and that I was welcome on his fine ship whenever. I was thankful he didn't bring up my husband. I was still sore, even after a century.

I got along quite well with Dr. Crusher, Deanna Troi and Natasha Yar. A doctor, a counselor, and a warrior. All women. It amazed me to no end. Miss Troi immediately caught on to my fondness to Jean-Luc. I must say it was quite obvious. She explained that she could sense emotions, that she was half alien half human, her alien half was called a Betazoid.

I did explain to the ladies about my past, what I witnessed, that I had killed in war, alongside men who didn't know I was a woman, who I had lost. I have but a locket with a picture of my husband, a kind eyed man who looked exactly like Picard. Although, after so many years I can no longer remember his name. Deanna explained all this to Jean-Luc. He was much more involved with me after. I'm aware it was out of pity, but I was glad to have my husband back.

All I ever wanted was my husband back.