note: this chapter contains both pov's so don't get confused midway, I will mark when each starts, enjoy :)
Pov: Nate
My eyes are dead focused on the road ahead of me as I drive to Lana's house. My heart is pounding with worry while my chest is constricting with fear, everything's a fucking mess. Shattered, all of it.
I can not let myself drag Lana into this entire mess, I need to get money and I need to get it soon. Amidst all this fuckery, I have taken the decision to stay at Noah's house for the night, but I'll hopefully be able to drop Jules off with Lana. Fuck this shit, I hate it all so much. Why can't things be fine- good- for ONCE?
I love her, that's the problem. I love Lana so much that it's consuming me, but right now I can't let her love me.
It's too dangerous for her to love me and be with me when shit might just come spiraling down any second. And judging by the fact I have some shitty ideas on how to get the money, there's no way in fucking hell I'm involving either Lana or Jules in it.
The second we reach, and the car comes to a halt in front of Lana's house, my fingers clench around the steering wheel. Don't show that this is breaking you, I need to remind myself as I turn back in my seat to face Jules. Anything for you, my little angel.
She looked scared the sight cracks my heart, "Hey bubba, I love you okay? Always, but I have to take care of something. I promise I'll be back tomorrow morning, till then can you be with Liv?" I suggest, trying to sound as gentle as I can. I'm doing this for their own good and safety, but why does it hurt so fucking much?
She nods softly, jumping over the console to place a kiss on my cheek. "I trust you, big bro," she utters and I physically have to fight the urge to cry again, I give her a small smile, grasping her little hand in mine and walking her to the front door.
I can't afford to go in, I know I won't be able to control myself if I'm next to Lana. I know no limits when it comes to my love, especially my love for her. The love that saved my life.
The minute Lana opens the door, her face lights up, and she looks at me like she has stars in her eyes. I can't- I'm drowning in the love she has for me. No anchor to pull me up, no help. Just her. Now she isn't left to drag me to the surface either.
I know I'm such a fucking asshat for doing this, but I'm doing it for her good. That's what I'm telling myself before the pain hits in all its power and I'll be able to do nothing, shit will become irreversible.
Leaving her hold on my hand, Jules runs in, but I purposefully stay put on the doorstep. Lana steps outside with a glowing smile on her face but I direct my vision to the ground instead, my hands stuffed in my pockets because if they're free, they'll be on her skin. That's the last thing I need right now. Her touch, her kisses, her.
I need her so badly that oxygen seems less necessary right now, but no. You can't do this to her, Nate.
"Aren't you coming in?" Lana asks me, I'm not coming back, baby. I clear my throat and step back again, empty, that's all I feel. Emptiness consumes me instead of the warmth she usually makes me feel. "Actually, I have a favor to ask you, Lana." My voice comes out as a whisper, here goes fucking nothing, the way my eyes are stinging I don't feel like I can continue.
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Almost love
Romance[CURRENTLY UNDER EDITING!] The 'almost love' story of Liv Arlene and Nate Caesar. I was almost good for her. I was almost good for him. Liv and Nate go to the same high school, river edge high. They come from messed-up family backgrounds with...
