What a disappointing love. [ENGLISH]

Chapter 3| Analise

October 3, 2021.

I was trying my hardest not to succumb to the desire to throw a chair in Beverly's face, my roommate.

I understood that she was stressed out because she was graduating from college in a few months and had to start her thesis and such, but no matter how much patience I showed, it wasn't enough to put up with her. After my former classmate graduated two years after I arrived at Yale, Beverly arrived and from the beginning it was noticeable that she had an explosive temper.

I counted mentally in Russian, and only counted in my native language when I could no longer stand it. I closed my eyes and got up from my bed because I could no longer stand her moaning and monologues, I walked to the door and to hell with her being in her pajamas. I would get the fuck out of there before I strangled her with the pillowcase. I stomped my feet as I walked, girls passed me by and whistled at me in amusement, I ignored everyone and made it to the front desk where the two boys and girls dorms shared central administration. I closed my eyes and did breathing exercises that quickly calmed me down, smiled with relief and walked to a couch near the window. I looked through it to the only place it showed, which was the stone path leading to the university. I gathered my legs and rested my chin in the palm of my hand, never taking my eyes off the window.

I had trouble controlling my emotions and was always quite explosive with it, my body would react faster than my head, and when my brain had already come up with the peaceful and normal response, my fist would resolve the situation faster. I wasn't like that at first, but after that situation happened when I was about eight years old, my behavior changed radically.

Well, I'm not the same as before and I'm never going to be.

"- Analise! -she smiled and showed me that strange smile she had, but that had become very special to me. I think Marlon and Maria are coming, don't you think it's cool to play a joke on them?"

No.

I shuddered and closed my eyes, shaking my head to shoo away the memories that wanted to imprison me in things I no longer thought about, that I forced myself not to think about. I got up and when I turned around I recognized in the distance the silhouettes of two people I already knew. Hades and Ronald were talking with two other guys, two brown guys who seemed cool and quite attractive. Ronald noticed me and nodded in greeting mode, I watched Hades who noticed me after Ronald and simply turned back to talk. I raised an eyebrow and ignored the situation, it wasn't important to me that he was indifferent to me. He wasn't someone important in my life anyway.

But I stopped myself before turning back to the path back to my room. I really didn't want to go back there right now, because I felt like all the control I used to manage my emotions would go down the drain if Beverly continued the way she was, which was pretty sure.

- Analise?

I turned around, Ronald had been the one to call out to me, as Hades suddenly walked towards me. It happened so fast I didn't have time to process, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards them, hiding me behind him and one of the brown guys.

- What the...?

-It's totally disgusting to me that men think they have the right to denigrate you like almost everyone here was doing, just because you're in your pajamas," was what he said, startling me. I looked in the direction he was looking annoyed, it was some boys from maybe first year whispering amongst themselves and looking at me, sharing derisive laughter.

I pulled my finger out of their middle and they turned to look elsewhere.

- Why did you go out in your pajamas? -Ronald asked.