The Secret Baby

Chapter Five

I woke up to Ashtyn playing happily in her crib. I rolled over to climb out of my bed when everything from last night hit me. How am I still in love with him? He was ashamed to be with me. I knew this, and yet I kept going back to him. I vowed when he left, I would never live like that again, then when I found out I was carrying his child, I vowed to myself to never let him near my child. Children need consistency, and one thing Jaxon Kelly is terrible about is consistency with what he wants.

I don't know if I can trust him. I needed someone to help me protect my child. As I changed Ashtyn's diaper and got her dressed for the day, she was extra Scoochie today. I tickled her to get her to lay still enough to put her diaper back on; her little laugh erupted and made my heart melt. This precious little girl was mine. He may have helped create her, but she is mine. I carried her for almost ten months, and I have raised her for nearly two years; he couldn't get those moments back. I've always planned to tell her about him when she's older, but I never thought things would get this messy now.

"Do you want to go to the park today?" I asked her.

"Sing, sing." She chimed. Somehow, I knew she would want to go to play on the swings.

"Then momma needs to brush your messy hair," I said, tickling her some more. She sat up and as still as she could so I could brush and braid her hair.

As we walked to the park, I smiled. She kept looking around and finding things that she knew. "Momma. Birdy." She pointed to a bird flying overhead.

"That's right, that is birdy, very good. Ashtyn, what color is that flower?"

"Ello." She replied happily. Everything was yellow or green to her. I gave her an easy one when I pointed to a yellow dandelion.

"When did you get so smart?" I cooed at her as I took her out of her carriage. She just beamed at me before she waddled over to the slide. With some assistance, she struggled up the steps, and then we went down the slide to her delight.

"Sing, sing!" She called, going towards the swings.

Some other kids were swinging, so I scooped her up in my arms and walked over to the swings for safety. I sat her in the swing and gently pushed her. When it was eleven, I put her back in the carriage and walked home. As I approached my house, I saw a paper grocery bag on my doorstep.

I took Ashtyn out of her carriage and put the carriage away. "Momma. Cacker?" Ashtyn asked, sitting next to the bag holding a box of her favorite crackers. I sighed, seeing the box told me who put the pack here.

I picked up Ashtyn and the bag and carried them both inside. I set her down in the living room, giving her a cracker, before going to cook her some mac and cheese for lunch. I put the bag of groceries away. Son of a b***h.

He got her two boxes of her favorite cracker, a gallon of milk, some sippy cups, a package of baby wipes, and popsicles. He wrote a note attached to a box of crackers.

I didn't know what size diapers she takes; I never realized how many different types and sizes there are of diapers. I know you don't want anything from me, and if I left money, you'd send it back to me somehow, so I bought her some things. I remembered how upset she got over those crackers, so I got you extra. The day I helped you with your groceries, I saw you put her down with a cup of water, and I assume you go through a lot of milk. I looked up online to the most recommended brand of sippy cups. I hope that's okay. I hope this helps a little. Even though you don't need help, I want to help.

He wasn't going to go away, not yet, at least. Whatever, if he wants to buy her some things that I do run out of often, then so be it. He's not going to get me to budge on letting him be in her life. He's too unpredictable.