(Okay so ⚠️ trigger warning i suppose but i don't really know what category but this is a joke so please don't take this seriously 😭)
awsten and geoff have been having trouble with their relationship lately. They decided to try out something new—
It was a normal day in the life for awsten. Him and Geoff had been bickering and bickering for the past few hours over stupid small shit like usual. Geoff REFUSED to do ANYTHING with awsten now days. he would barely even do as much as walk down the street with awsten. it was awful and like he was being punished for nothing? or did he do something to make his boyfriend act this way? the answer was no. geoff has just suddenly acted this way. one day the spark between them was gone and it was just this. he wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with awsten anymore. everyone knows what that means. no sex. so awsten would take that into his own hands obviously. he was a masochist. one that loved the end result to end in bleeding. which is why he did what he did. on this specific day he was sitting there drinking a classic squirt soda (the fandom is dying btw please save it 😩). he looked at the can for a while, two hours to be exact, and thought about what he wanted to do to this can of delectable squirt. he ultimately thoight about what he felt like doing and finally decided to go on with the idea. then he started cutting the can. a nice small hole for his millimeter defeater. he started on with it. he put his cock into the small hole. it felt so good but so so very bad. it was cutting him in ways no one could even imagine. but he loved every second of it. eventually when he was finished his dick shriveled into, well, even smaller than before to say the least. he was very sad that it happened but it was the best he has ever felt. geoff walked in. he had no idea. and the cycle continues.