When It Rains

Chapter 3

I got out of the shower slowly exhaling feeling refreshed. I immediately decided to put on my oversized t-shirt and my sweatpants that have been lying on my bed before I caught myself a cold. It's been two days since the rain stops and for those past two days I haven't been worrying about watering my plant, just one. I couldn't afford taking care more than one. It sounds pathetic but this plant hold not just to make my apartment look aesthetic but this also represents on how much I take care of myself. If it dies, it means I fucked up. And if it survives for a year, it means I'm ready to take another step.

Commitment.

I jumped when I heard a notification from my phone which made me realize that I've got better things to do aside from taking a bath. At first I thought it was a notification from Nina, turns out it's just a reminder. Write. It says, popping on the screen.

I head over to my desk. Before turning on my laptop, I grabbed my to-do-list. Number 21. Write. I took my pen and draw a line between the words to cross out number 21. A reminder notification doesn't give me any satisfaction, so I thought making a to-do-list would give justice.

I took a deep breath before pushing the power button in my laptop. I tap my fingers anxiously on the keyboard waiting for the excitement to fill in. Rare for me to be in a mood to write but here it is. I glance at my screen to check while my laptop starts up, and I squint at my reflection almost not recognizing my face. Not another episode of having a bad hair day. I frown at the mess of long black wavy hair and try to smooth it down by running my fingers through it over and over. Feeling frustrated, I pull my hair tie off my wrist and pull my hair up to a messy bun in attempt to look halfway decent. "Nice nest by the way" Theo's voice echoes in my head referring to my bun hairstyle the past two days. I shook my head trying to erase the thought of it.

I need to focus.

After two and a half hour, I log on to my Instagram account. I realize I haven't posted for awhile. I took my phone and glance into the corner of my screen as I turn the camera toward my desk just beside the window. The sky look bright, the trees on the other side of the glass completely look green and clear. I turned to look at my desk once again, a few pile of book which I've perfectly organized by its sized, a laptop, clock, coffee, then a few sticky notes pasted on one small board and finally just beside my laptop, my to-do-list notebook; just quite enough to look aesthetically pleasing.

I took a picture and posted in on Instagram with a caption "It's been awhile." Quite enough to keep my followers updated and guessing.

My phone and laptop dings as comments begin rolling in. I see one mentioning about a book sequel and another one mention if it is a new book. I've been writing for almost half and two years now. Through the years, more people than I could have ever imagined began following my works, sticking me through my awkward updates to all of my social media account. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out.

My phone and laptop dings away, messages pouring in one after another in the comment section. Reading a few as I sip on my coffee, I let the positivity push away all the negativity I felt going into this.

I can't wait!

I love your books so much!

I pressed the like button to the people I find familiar who keeps on interacting with my updates just to give them notice that I appreciate them.

DING! Another message.

I'm an aspiring writer and you gave me so much inspiration and ideas to keep me out of slumber! Love you!

My heart warms and it drew a smile on my face knowing that person knows what struggles of being a writer have. I started typing in a form of reply, I'm rooting for you! Xoxo. before closing my browser to see the smiling faces on my desktop background. Little me mom and dad, arm in arm smiling straight to the camera in a bright-autumn-day with golden leaves on top of our head.

I miss them.

I sit starring at my desktop background. I swallow hard trying to stop the emotions that come bubbling up, tears clouding my eyes. I pick up my phone typing a message to my dad telling him how much I miss him. For some reason I erased the message. I don't want him to get reminded of mom. I remember he once told me how much I look alike my mom, just a younger version of her. I don't want to make him miserable, but somehow it makes me want to hear his voice.

I scroll up rereading our old conversation almost pressing the green call button but decided not to. I closed my eyes for a moment. It's almost a year since their divorce and I gotta say, they still can't even look at each other.

My eyes shoot open to look over to my plant with a piece of paper on the vase with a scribble on it, Lili. Number 24. Water Lili. I cross it out before dropping my to-do-list onto my bed. I'll also be getting the same notification on my phone telling me the same thing. For most reasons, at least something keeps me distracted out of my thoughts.

I gently rub my fingers into the leaf, feeling the texture. Half of me was glad to know it's healthy and half of me is worried how much it's going to last. "Not too much water and not too much sunlight." I said it out loud remembering those infamous words after searching out from the net the other day. Not for a moment I heard a thud just around my desk, checking it hurriedly thinking it was my coffee, but turns out my perfectly organized books stumbled on its own. I came to check closer to notice one of them is missing in between.