THE GOLDEN GIRL - facing the lion

finding shelter

I have been hiding in this dump of an apartment for more than seven months now. I have lived with the Avengers at their compound but when our last fight was over, they brought me to my safehouse. Ever since the Avengers split, Captain America and Iron Man dead, there was no one left to protect me. John Walker was somewhere out there, strutting about the streets as if he was the new fucking thing. He was not. I didn't accept him and I sure as shit didn't like him. I've heard that the Winter Soldier and the Falcon have been around as well, so a bit of hope was sparked inside of me.

Every day in my life was just hiding in the apartment, maybe putting on a hoodie and sunglasses to go and do some grocery shopping. I had to be careful, because the guys who were after me could be anywhere. So whenever there was something attracting too much attention around me, I slipped away and vanished behind a corner just long enough before I could make it back to my apartment in the ugly brick building. It had scarce interior design, only a TV and barely a bed, a small kitchen and a tiny bathroom (actually just a sink/shower and a toilet). I couldn't remember the last time I had a bath - that was a luxury I could not afford.

As if John fucking Walker wasn't already bad enough, there were the Flag Smashers, a group of batshit crazy people who thought life has been better during the blip when half the universe was gone. I despised them, knowing how much trouble the Avengers have been through during those five years and how much they have sacrificed to bring everyone back. My love. Nat. It hurt to think about her, even now. She has been a good woman, a right woman. THE right woman. I loved her with every fiber of my being and when Clint had told us that she was gone, unable to get back, I broke down and didn't eat for weeks.

But Steve has made me eat, gain strength, health and a bit of happiness. He has made my life light up in colors again. "Don't worry. We will do everything we can to make her loss worth it. But we need you strong and on alert. I need you," he had said.

Thanos has lost, we have won. I went to stay at my safehouse after that - to gather myself and gain my strength back. Steve has come by one last time after the last battle. And that was the last time I saw him. The last time I got to hold him, the last time I got to smell him, to feel him, to hear him. He was gone and I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Tony has been the one who has brought me under their wing, the one who made them swear to protect me. And now he was gone, too. Bruce - the Hulk - was somewhere I didn't know about, Clint was fully retired and back with his family, Wanda has been doing crazy shit up in New Jersey and Thor, my precious Thor, was gone with the Guardians of the Galaxy. There weren't a lot left who could help me.

The last time I saw any of them was when Rhodey drove Peter Parker to visit me a month ago. Peter and I have always had a special connection because we were both younger than the rest of the group, even though I was still older than him, and we have both been brought in by Tony. Rhodey only checked in on me, making sure I was okay and I had everything I needed. He assured me that he would look into the guys threatening me, since over the last six years ever since Thanos, nobody, not even I, had the time to think about my tiny problem. But Peter had stayed the night. We have talked about his school and about the battle and Tony. Peter wasn't doing very well, so I tried to help him through his pain as much as I could. And he helped me through my loneliness as much as he could.

Life has been lonely and sad for a month ever since Peter left, so when I turned on the TV one day and found that the Flag Smashers were gone and Barnes and Wilson were safe, I decided to leave my apartment and go seek out Bucky. He had to help me, I was sure of it, even if he has been gone for five years during the Blip and had no idea what I have been up to. But the Blip hasn't been five years for him as it was for me...

The weather was cold for an August day. Pulling the hood of my sweater over my head, I kept my head down and walked through the street, thinking. If I wouldn't find Bucky or if he wouldn't want to help me, my last resort would be Pepper and Peter. But I hoped it wouldn't come to that, I hoped I would find Bucky and he would take me in.