glassy eyes - dotae

wildest dreams

He's unable to move. It's as if he's bound to his bed. No matter how hard he tries to break free, he only seems to make it worse. His joints feel rigid as if they just lost all ability to function. Once he has a complete grasp on the situation, the only answer he finds realistic is another night of sleep paralysis, an event that Taeyong was no stranger to.

With no other choice, he stares ahead while trying to control his breathing the best he can. He finds it odd he's not in his room but eventually shakes it off. All he could see was black, a detail he automatically blames on the lack of light. He considered this one of his tamest paralysis experiences.

Typically there's something else that makes him desperate to move, to escape, which makes the thought of him being unable to do so that much more frightening. Yet when there's nothing to elude, the paralysis is nothing more than an inconvenience.

Taeyong wonders how long he'll have to stay here, staring at a black abyss while taking deep breaths in the most controlled fashion he can. The lightless view persists, leaving Taeyong awaiting if there will be a sudden scare to cause him to want to scream, but he knows he wouldn't be able to make a sound.

The last thing he hears is the ear-splitting sound of glass breaking, enough to wake him up and cause him to grasp at his chest as he wonders how he just spent what felt like hours staring at nothing but darkness.

He turns his body to the clock by his bed. In bold numbers, it reads 4:32 am. It was apparent he wasn't supposed to have woken up yet. As a last-ditch effort, he lays back on the bed, trying his best to lull himself back to sleep. He uses the breathing techniques he learned a while back but to no avail.

It doesn't take him long to just give up, get up, and prepare himself breakfast. He'll kill the next few hours somehow. He just doesn't know how yet. Immediately, he is forced to cross anything noisy off his list of nightly activities. Everyone else in the house was asleep, and the last thing he wanted was a sleep-deprived Donghyuck attacking him. His brother would undoubtedly get a bit moody without proper sleep. It was something Taeyong would rather not be on the receiving end of.

He settles on a peaceful walk before the sun truly sets. Going outside when the sun isn't out yet puts him in a trance. It's calming yet also terrifying at the same time—the view of clouds in the deep dark blue sky. Don't even get him started on the noise, or rather lack of. It feels like he's underwater, under so many layers of the sea that all noise is drowned out, and it's a feeling he likes.

Part of the habit is never to plan out where he's going. Instead, he lets the winding road figure that out for him. Sometimes, he goes to a nearby river just to listen to the sound of water and pretend he's in the ocean. He also occasionally goes to a 24/7 store, not to buy anything but admire the bright fluorescent lights and the contrast against the black environment.

It's a weird tendency, and Taeyong knows that, but when has that ever stopped him?

He finishes eating the rice and egg he has prepared himself. After washing the dishes, he puts on a coat to prepare for the heavy wind. Taeyong was less than excited to fight against the weight of the current, but the view of the river's rushing water would make it indefinitely worth it.

Occasionally, he'll fantasize about diving into the harsh waters and seeing where they take him. He wonders what's waiting at the end of the creek, patiently waiting for someone to come by.

Hand in the stream, he scoops up some of the water that glistens due to the stars. It doesn't take long before Taeyong releases it out of his grip, watching as it trickles down his fingers.

The sound of rushing water is calming, rivalling the sound of nothing to Taeyong's ears. When he was younger, he regularly came over by the riverside to read novels. It was nice until he accidentally dropped a book into the waters. Only then did his mother forbid him from reading near any body of water.