Saving Grace

Free to Be You and Me -- Decision

~*****~

I chewed on my thumb nail nervously as we drove through the night. "Hey, man, you okay?" I hear Dean ask. I glance up and gaze at Castiel. He doesn't respond. "Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but... I do know a little something about missing fathers."

"What do you mean?" Castiel asks.

"I mean, there were times when I was looking for my dad when... all logic said that he was dead." Dean explains. "But I knew, in my heart... that he was still alive. So who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cass? What do you believe?"

"I believe he's out there." Castiel says.

"Good. Then go find him." Dean says.

"What about you two?" Castiel asks.

"Us?" I hum lightly. I gaze over at Dean, receiving a warm smile, despite the taunts Raphael threw at us. "We're good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but we're good."

"Really good." Dean sighs.

"Even without your brother?" Castiel questions.

Dean's eyes darken a little. "Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with Lottie and you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun. It's funny. You know, I've been so chained to my family. But now that it's just me, my girl, and our angel... Hell, I'm happy." I glance over to Castiel, only to realize he'd already left.

"Well, that's rude." I comment.

~*****~

Dean immediately curls into the bed when we get home the next night. "So, did you find what you were looking for?" Zack questions as he tugs on his boots.

I snort. "Not exactly. But there were some new things I learned. You stay safe. And don't let that charm out of your sight, got it?"

Zack just beams. "You got it, boss." I tilt my head at him before leaning against the table as he leaves. I hear a soft voice in the back of my head, and immediately push it out. It comes again, louder this time, and I push it out again.

"Don't ignore me, little sister~" Dark and foreboding. I felt my skin crawl at Lucifer's new voice.

"So, you found a vessel." I sigh irritably.

Lucifer's new visage appears before, his gaze sliding around the kitchen, as if he's trying to figure out where I'm at. He's got a big grin covering his face. "He's just plan B." Lucifer hums impishly as he gazes at the tableware. "You're playing house, meanwhile I'm free, and looking for you." I grimace. "You were hard to pinpoint. I had to sit for hours looking for your essence."

"Cut to the chase. What the hell do you want?" I snap.

Lucifer snaps his gaze onto me. "You. Your essence. With that, I can destroy this planet with a snap of my fingers."

"Okay, Thanos," I retort plainly. "First off, you come anywhere near me, I'll rip you out of the poor schmuck you've possessed and shove you back into your cage for the rest of eternity." Lucifer's grin did not disappear.

"Oh yeah? And who's going to keep me there?" Lucifer chirped as he rounded the table, making small circles around me. "You? That would mean you'd have to hold the doors shut. That means an eternity of your worst nightmares." A cold sweat breaks over my body. "Oh, that got to you. Tell me, do you remember all those dreams you had as a young child? About a man with red eyes ripping the skin from your bones day in and day out, the man who would listen to you scream just for the fun of it?" I didn't dare glance back at him. "That was me, whispering in your ear while you slept. Dear old dad-- I was his favorite, you know, until you came along. The general idea of you, it made my skin crawl. The first one, well, he was easier to frighten. But, as the years went on, it got harder and harder, the closer he got to dad. But with you-- oh, that little connection dad wanted us to have-- your fear made it so much stronger. Even now, I can feel the warmth of your skin as I push further and further into your mind, flooding it with just how I wanna torture you till the end of our days."

A cry rattles through the baby monitor. The hair on my neck stands on end and I swing my gaze to Lucifer.

"Oh, so that's why you're hidden so well." He chirps as he gazes upwards. "Too many wards to get to it, but damn, when I do find you-- and I will-- I'm going to rip her apart in front of you." Lucifer grins before I successfully push him from my mind. I gasp out in exertion and collapse against the floor, my chest heaving violently as I try to regain the breathing that had been stolen from me.

The baby is still wailing, but I hear Dean's voice cooing to her after a moment. My heart stops pounding so hard, and I listen to them for a while, wishing so desperately that we were a normal family.

Dean comes down a few moments later, a burping cloth over his shoulder. I can vaguely see the spit up dripping from the end. "You all right?" He asks cautiously as he hurries to help me up. I nod lightly and grasp onto him as if I'm hanging on for dear life. "Whoa, okay, no you're not. What happened?"

Instead of speaking, all I can manage is a choked whimper, then the tears spring up. I curl into his chest, sobbing violently against him.

"Hey, it's all right," Dean coos as he begins shushing me softly, his hand rubbing against my back as an attempt to try and soothe me. "Take your time. Don't worry baby, I got you."

~*****~

It's quite a long time before I'm able to form any words. I explain what had happened to Dean in short sentences, breaking off to take a few breaths to calm down before continuing. "Lucifer's been in your head since you were a kid?" Dean asks, skeptical.

My lips purse. "Don't think I'm crazy, please." I say in a soft gasp. "It stopped as I got a little older, since I began to worry about other things-- my parents, the damn whispering-- everything." I chew on my lip and lean back into the sofa. "He said he started with the first one-- Jesus Christ, and I mean that quite literally."

Dean rubs at his face and hums. "But he doesn't know where you're at?" I shake my head. "Good. Let's keep it that way." I tilt my head at him. "All of us. We're going on the road. Moving constantly. I don't want that scum bag anywhere near you."

"Dean, we can't subject Mary to that." I plead.

Dean stands up. "And I can't lose either of you." Dean snaps. "We can go round in circles all night, but dammit, I can't leave you two here in this house for the devil to find you and kill you."

I chew on my lip again before reluctantly nodding.