PERKY

Prologue

The invitation I flipped between my fingers can change everything.

On the longest night of the year, I am sitting on a bench, nibbling a stale bagel and trying to make up my mind. I will mingle with people who do not know me at all and be myself or I will be alone with myself and longing for it.

When someone sat down next to me, I turned my head and said hello with a smile. She is a painting-like woman with freckles on her face. She squinted her eyes and smiled, then hugged the shawl on her shoulder and said, "Good evening!"

I continued to watch the sea. I was thinking where to go when I finished my bagel. I have to decide between an event I was not even invited to which was sent as a birthday present and a hotel. I am exhausted. In the bloom of my youth, at 20, I need a rest!

"Today is my birthday."

The woman next to me smiled sincerely when I said the sentence that I couldn't bite in, as if I wish well from everyone. I am even happy that I didn't keep it to myself.

"Happy Birthday! What age are you celebrating?"

"Twenty," I said with a broken smile. I said goodbye to decimals now. Really, things can change. Even if I commute, I'm in another city. I'm studying at university. I am getting an education where I can shape my future. Nothing needs to stay the same. Except for money. I need money and a roof over my head, but I still struggle with that feeling. The feeling that nothing will change.

"It is an age when you have to be patient with your requests."

I turned my head a little scared when she read me like an open book. The expression on my face made her smile as she is looking for something in her bag. "Angels advise to be patient," she said. "Of course you have some wishes and goals. If not, does life have a meaning or not? You are also embarking on a spiritual journey within the material world."

She has began to shuffle the cards she took out of the box. She is an energy master. A shiver settled in my stomach, both because of excitement and fear. Even though I was ready to choose a card, she stopped and pulled one from the other cards, cut my comb.

"Nice! You are being drifted somewhere. You are not aware of it, you will not be for a while, but someone is drawing and directing your path for you."

I am aware actually. Even though I look like I am sitting at the wheel, I am not stepping out of the drawn map.

"Maybe you'll find out when you're already halfway down the road, but there isn't actually half the way. All this will happen in three times. Three hours, three days, three months, maybe three years. Someone cold will find you, you will not call, even if you call, he will not come anyway, he is not open to messages, he will find you, he is very difficult, it will be difficult for everyone, it will be difficult for you, but you are different for him. You like ice anyway. You get along with the ice. You think you're in love with the sun, but your breath on the ice is more precious."

I start to get frightened. She is speaking very fast. I thought maybe there is a story written on the card. It doesn't sound like she is saying good things, and the grain of truth in it is eerie. She flipped the third card over the others, then looked and put the cards back in her bag. I wondered why she didn't say anything when she reached out.

I reached forth, even though I was trembling with fear. I thought she was going to look at my palm, but she put her other hand on my palm and looked at my face. This was even scarier.

"When you have to come out of the cocoon, the universe will run smoothly and you will find yourself flapping your wings even if you think you will always stay there. You won't even look back. You're being invited to that journey you've always wanted. Just be patient. In three times, the energy of the universe will put you on that path. Your road is like a rose garden. It has thorns, but your mother will help you."

"I don't have a mother..."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Perhaps you will hear from her."

"Or I perish too."

She laughed and caressed my hand. "Aren't you born again on every birthday!" she said, then caressed my cheek. She left me with a strange feeling.

She stole a look at the invitation in my lap. We got out of that magical atmosphere and went back to the real world. Even her eyes look more loving now.

"The weather is cold for the boat, but go celebrate your birthday to the fullest!"

"How do you know it's on the boat?"

She took an invitation card identical to mine from her bag and showed it.

I went to the hotel. I got a room with a bathtub. I got into the tub and enjoyed the hot water there until all my muscles were relaxed. She was wrong, I never used my right of choice to be cold. I always chose to warm up.

I like the sun. I like it to warm me to the bones and make me feel alive.

Although what she said sounded terrible at first, I was relieved when I realized that she was actually telling the past. There was someone really cold. My boss was a difficult person. No one could claim it was easy, but we somehow got along. He had not found me. I had seen the job posting, but in a way, it was acceptable. The employee he could not find had fallen into his lap.

I'm not sure if my path is a rose garden. All I see are thorns but I hope one day the roses will bloom.

It is not raining abundantly in my garden, but maybe one day, a rose will bloom out of spite.