My Poetry

The Canvas

My body is a canvas
I draw my scars
The hair on my body
The stretch marks
The scratches and bruises
My insecurities
I add the detail
I draw my fear
Desire
Loneliness
If you look closely
And pay attention
Maybe listen to my voice
Feel my words
Maybe even add some passion
You will see where my shadow lies
I want to hide
I want to hide the truth to keep my sanity safe
I draw everything negative about me on one canvas
I keep staring at it
I can't take my eyes off of it
That canvas is strangling me
Making me numb
Making me careless
I start to draw the same thing
But instead it's the positives
I struggle to come up with them
It might be a small drawing
It might be dumb
It might be worthless
But no matter how many positives
I still wouldn't care
The only thing that would take over my body and mind would be the amount of negatives
I mean I might love how passionate I am
But
Wait
......
I still hate myself
Why should I focus on good
When my mind is drowning in my own head
My sanity
My body
My mind
Has already decided that it's a lie
Why should I try to experience self love
When the bad still exists
How long will I be trapped with myself
How long will I have until I can come to surface
Feel the air
Almost taste it
Finally getting to breath without water shooting down my throat
How long will the bad be engraved into my brain
Thighs
Arms
My heart
Will it ever end?
Will it ever quit?
Will it ever quit being my shadow?
My body is a powerful
Manipulative
Depressed
Insecure
Canvas.
A real work of art