"You really had me going there for a moment," I said, letting out a breath I didn't know that I was holding.
"I swear its not a joke," he said. His expression was perfectly serious but I remembered the ease with which he had lied to Hoser about my grandmother's supposed dementia.
"Dude, you have no idea how anxious I am about not being good enough for you. I'm literally waiting for the other shoe to drop," I confessed with a sigh.
"Your doubts come from your own feelings of self worth," he said, laying a hand over mine. "Instead of worrying about what you believe you deserve, just embrace the moment."
"But..."
Without warning, he leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips. It only lasted for a second and I didn't have time to respond.
But it was enough...
Enough for my insides to explode into a flutter of a million butterflies. Once again, I lost track of where I was and what I was supposed to do.
"Do you still need further convincing?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Yes," I said, pouting my lips. Instead of a kiss, he smacked my hand.
"Do you want to skip next period and make out in the back of the library?" he asked casually.
I waited for him to start laughing at his own joke but he didn't. Instead, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the cafeteria.
***
My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty again and my lips were ablaze. I would never have been able to anticipate how amazing kissing felt, let alone with Jackson.
His hands had first cupped my face but were now inside my shirt, exploring my tingling skin. A finger deliberately passed over one of my nipples, which made me squeal with my tongue still in his mouth.
The thought of this moment ending made me anxious when his mouth suddenly disengaged and moved to my ear. "I have a Chemistry exam," he breathed. Then, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and left.
Holy fuck! I was still breathing heavily.
***
<I'm sorry I missed you after school.
<If I skip curfew, I'll be grounded longer.
<I figured when I saw your bike gone.
<My brain was fried all day btw.
<I enjoyed our library time a lot.
<Me too. 😈
<When can we do it again? 🤭
<Do you still think I'm rushing?
<Yes.
<But I'm done complaining.
<You still haven't told me why, though.
<I did, actually.
<I made a deal with Death.
<You keep saying that!
<What the fuck does that mean?
<Have you ever heard of systemic Scleroderma?
<No.
<Google it.
What was his problem? It was a very simple question and it wasn't like I was resisting his advances. Why couldn't he just give me a straight answer?
I started typing in the word, when my mom called me for dinner.
<Sorry, gotta go.
<Dinner 🙄
<Bye. 😘
My first text kiss! Was it pathetic that I found it equally important as the kissing in the library?
Why did I need constant reconfirmation from Jackson?
Was I still suffering from my drunk of a father's psychological abuse? Even all these years after Mom kicked him to the curb? Had I still not overcome the inferiority complex he gave me or was this because I honestly believed Holly was right about me being out of Jackson's league?
"Ollie!"
"Coming, mom!"
***
My soapy hand rubbed slowly over the top of my hard-on as the hot water ran down my back. My mind conjured images of Jackson, kissing and... other things.
I watched the cum circle and disappear down the drain, as I thought about what it would be like to have Jackson standing under the shower with me.
After following my toweling ritual, I pulled on my favourite shirt and a pair of black briefs. If my brain was planning to put on a Jackson show during my sleep, I didn't want the result to be easily visible the next day.
I was about to send him a good night text but my phone opened on the browser with the half typed "Systemic Sclero..."
I completed the search and recoiled at the result. Apparently, the condition caused a person's skin to harden around the hands, feet and face resulting in severe deformation. In systemic cases the inner organs and blood vessels could also be affected, leading to all sorts of major issues, including the possibility of sudden death by cardiac arrest.
Why would Jackson make me look this up? He wasn't sick, was he? But he didn't show any of the visible symptoms. And why the fuck would he call it a deal with Death?
<Hey!
<Why did I look up a disease?
<I'm freaking out here.😱
<Please text me.
<Hi.
<Systemic Scleroderma is what I had.
<What???
<It says here that it's incurable.
<I told you, I made a deal with Death.
<He took away my illness so I could prove myself.
<Prove yourself to who ffs?
<To you, of course.
What the actual fuck?! This story had gotten completely out of hand. Either Jackson had an extremely fucked up sense of humor or he was playing some kind of twisted game.
<This really isn't funny! 😤
<Dude, my brother needs his phone.
<I'll explain tomorrow.
<Bye. 😘
Again that kiss.
Despite his crazy, Jackson was still the best damn thing that had ever happened to me!
There, I said it!
