Dam***.
I'm a lazy a$$, I get it. I don't do my homework, and my favorite class is turning out to be shiz. I have a 5% in it right now. Thanks, online Spanish. My gpa is crushed, no chance of a 4.0 anymore, I haven't been doing anything in algebra either. I can thank dad for letting me in on that.
Call me an idiot, repulsive. Knock me down, and put me back up just to do it again. I hate it, hate where I'm going. I want to go away before i face this. if i turn around I fall. I don't want to fall.
There's shame. Being laughed at by people that don't even know why their jokes hurt. I see pity on my teachers eyes, and I might be imagining it, but it's ten times worse than they could ever mean it to be.
This addiction, it's gotten worse, hurt that little piece of success I had left. I wanna motivate myself, be the way I was, but da** it's hard. These people get all as and boast with pride.
Then they look at me.
Resistance. It's what I have been best at. You have no backup but you push through, flat face, emotionless.
Of course there's a time where all that muck you picked up through the plow can start to damage you. You have to clean it out, spray it off, cry, blow up, anything to get yourself refreshed. You just have to get it off before the salt breaks you down
There are many kinds of resistors, the people that cry all the time to empty their cup, and the people that go and go until they can't move anymore, they are so deep in shizz.
I'm the latter, but every time it feels worse, that my fails are grander in value, in life. And right now?
I'm overdue. So fix me. Get me out of here.
