Eventually Yours

28 A Tamed Spirit

Was this all some elaborate hastily constructed ruse to find myself in the same house as Ella once again? Perhaps. But I truly wanted Emily to have the best wedding she possibly could. And if being in the same dwelling as Ella Harrington was the consequence of such a venture, that was certainly something I could abide.

"Would you care to tell me," my mother began in her best accusatory tone as she entered my office, "why you went off, I presumed, for this girl you're in love with and now I'm planning a wedding? And it isn't yours."

I kept my eyes on the paperwork on my desk but smiled all the same.

I'd returned only last night, sending a servant to my mother's room with the message that there was to be a wedding held at Northumberland for a dear friend at the end of the season. I imagine that message had only left her with more questions than answers given how I'd left on the night that I received Benthem's letter.

Once I had arrived at the Harrington estate and had ascertained that Ella Harrington was not, as of yet, promised to another, I'd devised a plan to get her under my roof and away from the meddling determination of Thomas Abney. So now they were coming, all but the Earl and Elijah, both of which had business to attend to in the coming weeks in town. And I had my mother preparing for their arrival without truly knowing who they were, just that they were friends I'd made in my travels and old friends of Benthem's. I imagined that last part was enough to sell her on them on it's own, as much as she adored Benthem and Madison. All the while, I was trying desperately not to look as deliriously happy and eager as I was.

"They're here, Your Grace," someone said suddenly from the doorway and my mother and I both looked up at the servant I'd instructed to keep watch for our guests. I gave her a nod of dismissal and then turned to my mother who raised a brow.

"You'll like them, mother," I told her, rising from where I sat behind my desk and rounding the corner to her. "I promise."

She held her tongue as I led her out of my office and toward the foyer just as the Harrington carriage was pulling up outside of the door. Benthem had ridden on horse behind it and he swung himself down and came jaunting up to where my mother and I stood on the steps just outside the doorway. He gave a bow to my mother before kissing her hand in greeting. She smiled happily down at him. Then he clapped a hand on my back.

"Good to see you again, Victor," he told me jovially. "You're looking well, Lady Winterbourne. But then again, you always do. So kind of you both to do this."

"We are honored," my mother answered kindly. I smiled to myself. I knew she'd take on the role of gracious hostess despite having not a clue who these people were or why I'd offered our home as a venue for their nuptials.

The carriage had come to a stop, the footman had lowered the step and opened the door. First out was the Countess. She gazed at our estate with abject awe, fighting to retain her composure while gaping at the luxurious manse. Next was Madison, smiling kindly at my mother at my side. Then Emily with the same sour expression as always, though she too gazed up at our expansive home. Finally, Ella emerged and I felt like an utter fool the way my heart somersaulted in my chest. She'd come. She'd actually come.

I'd begun to worry, hours before their arrival, that perhaps she'd find an excuse to remain at home. Most of all, I worried that excuse would be Thomas Abney. But she was here. I could breathe again.

"Welcome," I called out as they made their way up the steps following Benthem's example. "This is my mother, Lady Portia Winterbourne. Mother, these are Benthem's old friends, my new. This is Countess Helena Harrington and her daughters Emily and Ella. Emily is the bride. And of course, you know Madison."

"Yes," my mother stepped forward, taking the Countess' hand in hers. "So wonderful to meet you all. Please, do come in."

"Your home is lovely," the Countess spoke as we stepped through the threshold, Benthem and I hanging back and gesturing for the women to go first. As she passed, Ella cast me a sideways look and I was caught off guard by the expression on her face. It was what I could only describe as apprehension. "And it's truly an honor to meet you."

She was gushing now. But my mother smiled politely back at her.

"As it is to meet you," my mother replied graciously. "It isn't often Victor brings friends home. You all must be very special indeed. Oh but a wedding! I'm sure you're quite beside yourselves with the planning. Please, if you'll follow me, I've had the servants set up an area in the drawing room where we can refresh ourselves before getting to work. There's much to be done, to be sure."

"That's so kind of you!" The Countess exclaimed. "I'm simply dying to get started on the planning. Now that we're here and can see the scope of the venue, I'd like..."

Their voices were fading as they headed off down the hall towards the drawing room my mother had indicated. Madison, Emily, and Ella followed after them. Once they were out of sight, someone clapped me on the back and I jumped, having forgotten Benthem was there.

"We need to talk," he said. I peered off down the hall once more before nodding and leading him to my office.

Neither of us said a word until we were alone in my office with the door shut behind us. Then, I offered him a drink and he accepted, waiting for me to pour it out and hand it to him before continuing with whatever he had to speak with me about.

"Are you going to tell me the true reason you rode all the way to the Harrington estate in a thunderstorm at night?" Benthem asked, raising a brow as he held his glass without taking a sip.I frowned.

"I wanted to congratulate Emily," I told him, repeating the same lie I had before. "I know how quickly the plans can begin for the wedding. I wanted them to know that they could use Northumberland if-"

"Victor."

I looked up. He was still watching me, eyes narrowed and brow raised as if to tell me that he clearly wasn't buying my lies so I should think twice before repeating them.

"I know what I wrote to you," he said then, setting down his glass entirely and watching me closely. "I left a certain bit of news intentionally vague to see what you would do. And you came running. As expected."

I stared down at my glass, ashamed.

"So are you going to do something about it?"

I looked back up at him.

"Benthem, I can't," I told him.

He didn't say anything. He didn't ask me why not. He knew as much about my history as I did so he didn't need to. But I felt the compulsive need to explain myself anyway.

"She doesn't need to get tangled up with the likes of me. She's... different. She's better. Better than all of this high society nonsense, better than these noble expectations. I saw what this life did to my mother's willful spirit. I won't be the reason another woman gets tamed by these vultures."

I set down my glass as well, rounding my desk and taking a seat as if I'd spoken my final word on the matter, though we both knew I hadn't.

"This isn't some infatuation," Benthem spoke slowly as if he was realizing the truth in his own words as he spoke them. "I can see that, Victor. You haven't made a move, not a single move, and yet... you're lost."

"I can't do that to her," I repeated.

"Because of society?" He scoffed, taking on a much unfriendlier tone than I'd heard from my dear friend before. "Or because of your past?"

With that, he turned away from me, went to the door, and left me sitting alone with my thoughts.