A few headcanons on cartman. There will be swearing and dirty jokes. ITS SOUTH PARK WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!?!?! Anyway 18+ I guess.
Cartman doesn't have a crush in Kyle or Heidi. (I always hear people say that in these headcanon stories).
Instead he just wants control over them, doesn't care what he has to do to get it. (Why he dated Heidi but said he hated her and why he always wants kyle to kiss his ass.)
Cartman has a diary that is full of him talking shit about his friends.
Cartman starts fight on reddit (ew)
Cartman often skips school to bike to the local dairy queen.
Cartman got caught watching porn on school computers.
Cartman has blackmail on butters that he threatens him with daily. (You can come up with what the blackmail is)
Cartman brakes bones alot.
Cartman says reading is gay but he actually likes reading romance novels, there very comforting to him.
Cartman likes cats.
Cartman is still the hall monitor.
Cartman sneaks out of lunch to get McDonald's.
Cartman will do anything to get out gym class.
Cartman wears shirts that have dirty jokes on them.
Cartman's favorite comeback is your mom, even when it doesn't make sense.
Cartman loves romance movies. But likes books more.
Cartman still gets babysat by Shelly.
Cartman wants to go to parties but is never invited.
YOU ARE READING
South park headcanons I guess
FanfictionI enjoy south park and I have ideas. I don't own these characters, I just like south park. I will share headcanons. these involve situations and ships! so yeah, anyway if these bother you don't read haha. I have dyslexia lol, grammar is hard
