(After Olivia Gatwood)
The first part is the same,
the discovered messages
The sick feeling
the molten anger heavy in her stomach
only in this one, she leaves him the first time she finds them.
she doesn't pick up the phone
she doesn't answer his texts
she doesn't listen to his excuses
she doesn't believe his promises
she doesn't pick him up after he falls
She looks back at the past 9 years of marriage, and ahead at the next 14, and decides to cut herself free.
in the old universe she is crying and in this one she is drinking wine with her friends
in the old universe is her sick and unable to get out of bed and he is in someone else's
in this one she is sick and unable to get out of bed and her daughters are making her dinner.
In the old universe she is making him dinner, she is getting up before the sun to make him coffee, he dumps it out the window on his way to work.
in the old universe she is begging him for a night out while he has someone else under his fingernails
In the old universe she is writing in his margins like he belongs to her.
But in this one when he tells her he is a library book, she returns him when the due date comes
in this one, she moves back home and gets three more years with her mom
In this one, maybe she has to work harder to support us, but she doesn't have to support his addictions anymore and that makes her feel rich.
in this one she is going on bike rides and making up songs in the kitchen because no one is there to tell her she's off key.
In this one there is music
In the old universe the days ahead are a spent with held breath waiting for him to love her again, but here they are dates with her daughters, they are creative projects, they are trips to the ocean,
they are hers,
they are hers,
they are hers.
