Falling Into Place - Forbidden Heart Series Book 5

42| It Was The Memories

a/n - for some reason wattpad wont let me load the picture for the top. So this chapter is in Nate's POV.

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"Lie back on the bed, please."

Breathe, Nate. It's all for that little baby.

I've been repeating those eight words over and over again ever since I stepped foot into New York General Hospital. It was my turn to get tested to see if I was a match for the liver transplant. My turn to find out if I was going to help save a life. Because a world without that baby in it was a world that I didn't want to live in.

I meant it when I said I wanted to do this. There was no hesitation on my part when it came to that. But when I was faced with shit like this-with hospitals-I got scared. And I was so fucking scared right now.

Even though I wasn't blood related to the baby, she was family. Helpless and innocent. And Uncle Nate was ready and willing to put on his hero cape and save the damn day.

But the hospitals...Fuck. Ever since the whole Afghanistan/coma thing, I made an effort to stay away from hospitals.

It was the memories. The memories of everything that happened in this very hospital still plagued me. I tried to work past it. I even started seeing a damn therapist. But what I went through wasn't something that was easy to shake.

"This won't take long," the nurse said as she applied those sticky pads to my chest. Next was the electrodes. "Once we get these connected, we can start the EKG."

"Sounds good."

That was a lie. It didn't sound good at all. In fact, it sounded fucking horrible. But I gritted my teeth and powered through it. The actual test didn't hurt. Neither did the needle stick for the blood draw. None of this hurt. It was the memories. Those motherfucking memories.

Breathe, Nate. It's all for that little baby.

Karma volunteered to come with me. It was more like she insisted, actually. But I told her I needed to do this on my own. Kinda like one of those face your fears type thing. Unfortunately, at this moment, I was regretting that. This whole testing thing took longer than I expected. I was so ready to get the fuck out of here and go home to my girl.

"Here we go, Nathan. Ready?"

"It's Nate," I corrected her. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Karma was the only person who called me Nathan, and it was going to stay that way. When we were teenagers, I hated it at first. But when we finally got together way back when, I started loving the way my name sounded when she said it.

Or moaned it. Or yelled it. Any fucking way was good for me.

The nurse pushed a few buttons on the machine. "Nate. Okay, just relax. We're going to start now."

Relax? Yeah, sure. 'I'm right on top of that, Rose" was what I wanted to say. But it would have been smart-assy. So I shut up and reminded myself that I was willing to do whatever it took. Even if it meant keeping my anxiety in check while I waited for this to be over and done with.

The EKG process didn't take long, thankfully. They already did the blood work, tissue test, and physical. This was the last test on the list for me today. Then I was the fuck outta here.

"Okay. You're all set." The nurse started detaching all the electrodes and removed the sticky pads from my chest. "Someone will be in touch with you regarding your results."

"Thanks." Faster than humanly possible, I jumped off the bed, got dressed, and headed out the door.

People whizzed by me in the halls. Fucked up leg aside, I hauled ass towards the exit. Of course, it wasn't that easy, was it? Because when I passed room I-305, I froze. Still facing the EXIT sign, I tried willing myself to take another step forward.